Simon get sort of addicted to golf, which causes trouble for him, Ruthie and various glass within their hitting reach. Matt and Lucy are fed up with Mary's adoration for coach Koper, whom they mistrust and dislike because of his condescending attitude towards English pupil Matt, who nevertheless does well on a James Joyce book-report. Mary sides with him when the siblings cry wolf over a hug but when she suddenly changes her tune after a shoulder massage, even the principal turns on Koper without any proof or actual incident. Eric hounds Lou, who insists the expenses for the nearly unattended Wednesday service can no longer be justified, to see the books. Annie finds $2,500 are missing but by the time the full truth gets known, both must side with 'thief' Lou and his secretly hard-tested family.

Matt suddenly gets bombarded with phone calls and pages at the hospital during his orderly duty, which might even get him fired. Simon wants him to drive him on his date with college girl Lulu, who falls for Matt. Eric can't find anyone to join him on a 'guys' pool night, but he ends up having a blast with parish bachelorettes; meanwhile, Annie meets with her child-psychology professor (who doesn't like kids!). Lucy and her charming lab partner "babysit" an egg; Mary reluctantly joins in the Friday 'private hour' of her pizzeria colleagues, teen parents Frankie and Johnny.