Arthur Wakesfield surprises a burglar and tries to scare him off, but gets a heart attack from which he later dies in the process. The burglar, John Tinniswood, hardly fares any better, when he comes home because his wife nearly tears his head off, but she still gives him a false alibi when he is arrested for the crime. Wakefield's widow is sure it was him though and starts to follow him around anywhere he goes. Special constable Hector Cowley poses problems of another kind. He is overly officious and a pain in the neck to everybody from sergeant Blaketon and down. And to a lot of other people for that matter. Cowley counts on winning a prize for his gooseberries at the local fair, but somebody destroys them on the night before.

Somebody has "deposited" a truckload of pig manure in the driveway of special constable Hector Cowley. He correctly blames his neighbour "Sweaty" Betty Sutch and her son Simon and goes to their farm to sort out the matter. The next morning the coat of his uniform is found in their pigsty unlike himself, who is nowhere to be found. When his boots, trousers and other items belonging to him are found at the same place, rumour has it that he has been eaten by the pigs. Greengrass has a surprise visitor, Ellen Birley, an old friend from his past. She moves in with him and soon he enjoys the pleasure of well-cooked meals and clean clothes. But before long he misses the good old days, when they were only himself and Alfred.