Evelyn Harper is a fictional character portrayed by Holland Taylor in the TV series Two and a Half Men.
In the first episode they appeared in, titled Most Chicks Won't Eat Veal: Original Pilot (season 1), they were 63 years old.
They appear in 101 episodes out of a total of 261 aired and have accumulated 12737 positive votes.
The character of Evelyn Harper is mainly associated with Alan Harper, Charlie Harper and Jake Harper.
Evelyn Harper is also portrayed by Blythe Danner.
Episodes101
Most Chicks Won't Eat Veal: Original Pilot
episode S1.E0 june 2006After his wife kicks him out of the house, Alan has to move in with his brother Charlie.
Pilot
episode S1.E1 september 2003After 12 years of marriage, Alan's wife, Judith, kicks him out. He turns to his older brother, Charlie, for help. Charlie has trouble adjusting his carefree lifestyle with the presence of his ten-year old nephew.
Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell
episode S1.E3 october 2003Charlie and Alan go out drinking. Alan tries to reconcile with his wife. After that fails, they decide to confront the root of their issues, their mother.
Did You Check with the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?
episode S1.E6 october 2003Charlie and Evelyn date members of the same family.
Phase One, Complete
episode S1.E9 november 2003Charlie wants to dump a female friend to whom Jake has grown attached. Alan and Rose bond over a game of Scrabble.
Merry Thanksgiving
episode S1.E10 november 2003Thanksgiving winds up being the least thankful day of the year for Charlie, who has to bribe various members of his household to even come to a traditional turkey dinner. Not only are the usual feuds in evidence (leading to a turkey-carving right out of "Psycho") but Judith's parents are actually sympathetic to Alan and hostile to their own daughter for her "fling" with lesbianism.
Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor
episode S1.E11 december 2003Seeing Judith's new look and boyfriend prompts Alan to realize that if he wants to get back into the dating scene, he will need to change his look also.
Sarah Like Puny Alan
episode S1.E13 january 2004Charlie tries to nurse Alan back from the flu because he needs him for a double date with sisters.
I Can't Afford Hyenas
episode S1.E14 february 2004Charlie's accountant Stan tries to make Charlie understand his desperate financial situation.
Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats
episode S1.E17 february 2004Charlie is offended when Alan chooses his married, responsible cousins as Jake's guardians.
An Old Flame with a New Wick
episode S1.E18 march 2004Charlie's old flame, Jill, comes for a visit, she had an operation and is now called "Bill". Then Evelyn starts dating Bill.
I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You
episode S1.E19 march 2004Judith's sister Liz comes for a visit.
Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark
episode S1.E20 april 2004Jake plays electric guitar all day long and doesn't want to do anything else. Alan and Charlie can't figure out why. Jake refuses to discuss anything with anyone, including his grandmother and even a psychologist.
My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet
episode S1.E22 may 2004Charlie notices that Alan sleepwalks and tries to find out what's causing it and how to deal with it. He asks for help from their mother, Evelyn, and Jake's psychologist, Dr. Linda Freeman.
Just Like Buffalo
episode S1.E23 may 2004Jake repeats something Charlie says to Judith. Then Judith refuses to let Alan take Jake for the weekend. Alan tries to talk to Judith, but encounters resistance from Judith and her friends. It's up to Charlie to set things right.
Can You Feel My Finger
episode S1.E24 may 2004Charlie is sure he isn't ready for fatherhood after a year of trying to raise Jake, so he opts to have a vasectomy. But when the doctor performing the procedure keeps getting calls from his wife -- who's about to give birth -- Charlie starts to think about what fatherhood might entail and likes the idea, provided he still has his vital organs intact (in more ways than one).
Enjoy Those Garlic Balls
episode S2.E2 september 2004Alan is hurt after finding out Judith is seeing Jake's pediatrician. Meanwhile, Evelyn tries to find out why Charlie hates her.
Go Get Mommy's Bra
episode S2.E4 october 2004After Charlie reluctantly lends Evelyn his new car, he later discovers her bra in the back seat. Meanwhile, Alan is forced to compensate after Jake gets attached to Judith's rich and talented boyfriend.
The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance
episode S2.E6 october 2004After confessing responsibility for a childhood shoplifting incident blamed on Alan, Charlie seeks the forgiveness of his now infuriated brother.
A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana
episode S2.E7 november 2004Evelyn announces she is receiving an honor from the real estate industry and that Charlie and Alan will host a party in her honor. Mayhem ensues when Berta and her sister agree to cater the event, but sibling rivalry takes center stage.
Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers
episode S2.E8 november 2004Alan gets carried away with a woman he met at the supermarket, and it's up to Charlie to talk some sense into him while shielding Jake and Judith from what's going on.
Those Big Pink Things with Coconut
episode S2.E14 january 2005Evelyn's condescending attitude towards Jake's good grades sets Charlie and Alan out for revenge.
It Was Mame, Mom
episode S2.E18 march 2005Charlie cons Alan into being his date at his gay friend's dinner party. But how long can they keep up the act?
I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey
episode S2.E20 april 2005Rose intervenes after Alan and Charlie come to blows over some of their unresolved issues.
A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On
episode S2.E21 may 2005After one of her ex-husbands dies, Evelyn summons Alan, Charlie, and Jake to the funeral, where Charlie takes a keen interest in the widow.
That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother
episode S2.E22 may 2005Alan borrows money from Evelyn to buy a Porsche. However, life doesn't become as glamorous as he expects.
Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab
episode S2.E23 may 2005After finding out that Jake has spent the night at his other grandparents' house, Evelyn insists that Jake spend a night at her place. After convincing Jake to stay at her place, Alan and Charlie worry about how Jake will be affected by his overnight visit.
Does This Smell Funny to You
episode S2.E24 may 2005Jake recounts his weekend in which Charlie's latest fling is with a woman who turns out to be married to a now very angry old man.
Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts
episode S3.E1 september 2005After Alan falls off the roof, Charlie has to look after the adolescent and increasingly obnoxious Jake for the weekend.
Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark
episode S3.E3 october 2005After it's revealed Alan and Judith have been trying to reconcile, Charlie, Evelyn, and Rose vie for the role of spoiler.
Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs
episode S3.E4 october 2005Alan looks for a new place after he invites Berta to stay at Charlie's house, bringing the brothers to blows.
We Called It Mr. Pinky
episode S3.E5 october 2005Charlie's inability to reciprocate his girlfriend's love forces him to examine his relationships with women.
Hi, Mr. Horned One
episode S3.E6 october 2005Charlie's Satan-worshiping girlfriend has a knack for the supernatural, and seems to be the cause of some strange happenings around the Harper house.
Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop
episode S3.E7 november 2005Charlie gets drunk and sleeps with Rose on her birthday. Rose says she knows it's no big deal. But her father quickly shows up at Charlie's house, under the impression that they've been dating for two years.
Something Salted and Twisted
episode S3.E10 november 2005After Alan goes on a dinner with Jake, Charlie and Evelyn, he becomes fed up with seeking approval from women and decides to quit doing so with a little help from Charlie.
Santa's Village of the Damned
episode S3.E11 december 2005Alan's girlfriend Sandy is Malibu's answer to Martha Stewart, causing Alan and Charlie to pack on the pounds. Their desire for her fabulous culinary output is ultimately overwhelmed by her craziness.
Humiliation Is a Visual Medium
episode S3.E13 january 2006Charlie has to decide whether he can really commit to a serious relationship with Mia, especially when sex is currently off the agenda. Unsurprisingly, his suggestion that he sleep with other women in the meantime falls on somewhat stony ground.
My Tongue Is Meat
episode S3.E15 february 2006Forced to hide in his garage to enjoy a brace of beers and half a Cuban cigar, Charlie's attempts to keep his unhealthy lifestyle habits secret from Mia fall apart when she smells bacon on his breath, resulting in their first major argument since taking their relationship to a physical plane.
Ergo, the Booty Call
episode S3.E16 march 2006Jake's twelfth birthday approaches. Alan is busy with young, hot Kandi.
The Unfortunate Little Schnauzer
episode S3.E17 march 2006Charlie is nominated for an award, but he knows his rival Archie will win, as usual, so he doesn't want to attend it. Rose asks Charlie to help her with her boyfriend Gordon.
That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite
episode S3.E24 may 2006Charlie and Mia discover that setting up a wedding with their two crazy families is a disaster, so they decide to get married in Las Vegas.
Working for Caligula
episode S4.E1 september 2006Kandi dumps Alan, which forces him and Jake to move back in with Charlie, who was just getting used to getting his bachelor pad back.
The Sea Is a Harsh Mistress
episode S4.E3 october 2006In the middle of a near-death experience, Charlie thinks he hears his father's voice tell him to take care of his mother, who is just about to have a "minor procedure" performed on her.
A Pot Smoking Monkey
episode S4.E4 october 2006Alan wants custody of the dog Chester he shared in his late marriage with Kandi. Meanwhile, Charlie helps Jake with his girlfriend.
Apologies for the Frivolity
episode S4.E6 october 2006Charlie is the last one to realize that he is dating a younger version of his mother.
Walnuts and Demerol
episode S4.E11 december 2006Charlie's quest to get laid on Christmas Eve threatens to fall apart when everybody shows up at his house and refuses to leave.
Castrating Sheep in Montana
episode S4.E12 january 2007Alan is seeing Berta's daughter behind everyone's back. But when Berta finds out, Alan is shocked and a little disturbed by her positive response.
Don't Worry, Speed Racer
episode S4.E13 january 2007Repressed memories come back to the surface for Charlie after Jake talks about hearing his mom having sex.
I Merely Slept with a Commie
episode S4.E17 february 2007After Charlie and Alan tell their mom that nobody loves her enough to attend her funeral, she replaces them with a new family, which makes both of them very jealous.
Prostitutes and Gelato
episode S4.E24 may 2007In an effort to bond with Alan and Charlie, Evelyn's new boyfriend invites them on a trip to Vegas with all the frills.
Media Room Slash Dungeon
episode S5.E2 october 2007Charlie and his mom temporarily become friends until Charlie takes an interest in one of her married clients and Alan goes to bed with a woman who has self-esteem issues.
Putting Swim Fins on a Cat
episode S5.E5 october 2007Charlie hasn't had a paying gig for months, so Alan becomes part of a drug study to make extra money. Meanwhile, Charlie tries to bond with Linda's four-year-old son.
Help Daddy Find His Toenail
episode S5.E6 october 2007A medication mix-up causes Charlie to humiliate Linda at an important dinner, and Jake disobeys his dad's orders and sneaks out to attend a rock concert.
Our Leather Gear Is in the Guest Room
episode S5.E7 november 2007After Alan gets in a fight with Charlie over a decorative bowl, Alan and Jake move in with Alan's mom.
Tight's Good
episode S5.E9 november 2007Charlie ignores his future step-father's advice and gets involved with his daughter, and he learns the hard way that he should have heeded the warning.
A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh
episode S5.E12 march 2008Charlie is suffering from a bad cold, and Rose suddenly and mysteriously resurfaces to "take care of him." So why isn't Charlie getting any better?
Look at Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty
episode S5.E16 april 2008Alan helps to plan his mother's wedding, and Charlie makes some moves on the woman who will soon be his stepsister.
Fish in a Drawer
episode S5.E17 may 2008Parody of "CSI" in which a body is found in Charlie's bed, and detectives try to figure out who is the killer.
Waiting for the Right Snapper
episode S5.E19 may 2008Alan has a crush on Charlie's new older girlfriend and Charlie discovers that he "dated" his girlfriend's son's fiancée. Meanwhile, Alan tries to get Jake to study for his algebra exam.
Taterhead Is Our Love Child
episode S6.E1 september 2008Charlie runs into an ex with a child who looks and acts a lot like him, and he starts to suspect that he is the boy's father.
Pie Hole, Herb
episode S6.E2 september 2008Charlie kicks Alan out the house again after Alan demands that Charlie pay him back the $38 he owes him. Alan and Jake are now forced to turn to Judith and Herb for a temporary home.
The Mooch at the Boo
episode S6.E9 november 2008Alan realizes what a babe magnet Charlie's car can be while Charlie is left with the neighbor when his daughter disappears with Jake.
He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited
episode S6.E10 december 2008When Evelyn offers to pay for Jake's college education and a car, Charlie suspects that she has an angle to play.
The Devil's Lube
episode S6.E11 december 2008Charlie contemplates making some changes in his life after an old buddy and partner in crime drops dead on the balcony of his beach house.
David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie
episode S6.E14 february 2009After his family acts mean-spirited during Alan's "surprise" birthday party, Alan decides he's had enough and moves in with his girlfriend and her mom.
Hello, I am Alan Cousteau
episode S6.E20 april 2009Charlie is disturbed when his mother meets Chelsea and starts spending time with her, but he has a plan for revenge.
Above Exalted Cyclops
episode S6.E21 april 2009Chelsea sets up Alan with her new "friend" Rose--the same Rose who stalked Charlie for years. But to Charlie's surprise, the two of them hit it off.
Whipped Unto the Third Generation
episode S7.E2 september 2009When Charlie's fiancée Chelsea convinces him to let Alan's girlfriend Melissa move in, the girls take over the house.
Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator
episode S7.E4 october 2009Alan takes a job with his mom so that he can move out and have alone time with Melissa, and Chelsea is upset about the way that Jake is treating her.
Give Me Your Thumb
episode S7.E6 november 2009Alan suggests that Chelsea get breast reduction surgery and Charlie kicks him out.
Untainted by Filth
episode S7.E7 november 2009After Charlie and Chelsea set their wedding date, Charlie and Alan go out and get drunk and wake up in bed together with a strange woman.
That's Why They Call It 'Ball Room'
episode S7.E10 december 2009Charlie discovers that Chelsea hasn't been completely honest about her finances.
Warning, It's Dirty
episode S7.E11 december 2009Against Alan's wishes, Charlie encourages Jake to hook up with a pretty girl he met on the beach since Jake's girlfriend is out of town for Christmas.
Crude and Uncalled For
episode S7.E14 february 2010Alan ends up in jail after a bar fight, and Charlie worries that Chelsea might be interested in the lawyer who takes the case.
Aye, Aye, Captain Douche
episode S7.E15 february 2010When Charlie's jealousy threatens his relationship with Chelsea, he turns to Alan for help in becoming a better person. But will he be able to pull it off?
Tinkle Like a Princess
episode S7.E16 march 2010Charlie reacts to his breakup with Chelsea by taking the first woman that he sees and marrying her in Las Vegas.
Gumby with a Pokey
episode S7.E21 may 2010While Alan and Jake go to Sacramento to pick up a grandfather clock, Charlie gets a prescription for medical marijuana to help him sleep and forget about Chelsea.
A Pudding-Filled Cactus
episode S8.E3 october 2010Alan moves in with Lyndsey but continues to have a rendezvous with Melissa at Charlie's house.
The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel
episode S8.E5 october 2010Alan goes out on the town pretending to be Charlie; Charlie sneaks off for cosmetic surgery.
The Crazy Bitch Gazette
episode S8.E7 november 2010Charlie's past comes back to bite him when his girlfriend decides that his stalker Rose is too much to handle.
Springtime on a Stick
episode S8.E8 november 2010Jake gets Alan to invite Evelyn to Charlie's house for her birthday dinner to get revenge for Charlie ruining his chances with a classmate; and Alan and Charlie get Charlie's pharmacist to come along as Evelyn's date.
Ow, Ow, Don't Stop
episode S8.E10 november 2010Charlie goes on a spending spree for his old fling Courtney, who shows up after three years in prison for conning him out of money.
Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak
episode S8.E15 february 2011Alan's efforts to ask family for money to help promote his struggling chiropractic business turns into a Ponzi scheme, and Charlie continues to see Rose, still completely unaware that her "husband" is actually a mannequin.
Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt
episode S9.E1 september 2011After the death of Charlie Harper, Alan faces the reality of moving out of his brother's beach house - until he meets a depressed Internet billionaire whose wife just left him.
People Who Love Peepholes
episode S9.E2 september 2011Walden buys Charlie's house and hires Berta as his live-in housekeeper, forcing Alan to move back in with his mom. However, Alan sees an opportunity to come back when Walden asks for advice about getting his wife back.
Those Fancy Japanese Toilets
episode S9.E7 october 2011Walden hires Evelyn as his interior decorator, but Alan is convinced that she just wants to take advantage of him sexually. Meanwhile, Alan inherits Charlie's journal, and Jake has a crush on his tutor, but she has a crush on Walden.
Frodo's Headshots
episode S9.E9 november 2011Upon his return from the "stress clinic," Alan finds out that Jake got his girlfriend pregnant, Walden and Lyndsey are sleeping together, and he has to move out immediately.
A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes
episode S9.E10 november 2011After Jake talks Walden into asking out a woman he meets at a supermarket, Alan considers hocking Walden's incredibly expensive wedding ring to get out of debt.
Palmdale, Ech
episode S9.E19 march 2012Alan and Lyndsey introduce their mothers to each other, while Walden spends the night hanging out with Jake and Eldrige since Zoey is still out of town.
Grandma's Pie
episode S9.E20 april 2012Zoe is upset when she finds out that Bridget is a business partner in Walden's latest venture, while Alan and Lyndsey have an awkward dinner with their moms, who are now lovers and are planning to move in together.
Why We Gave Up Women
episode S9.E22 april 2012Charlie's spirit returns from Hell in the form of a middle aged woman to tell Alan to make some changes to his life after his heart attack.
The Straw in My Donut Hole
episode S9.E23 may 2012Alan decides to take advantage of the guilt felt by his family and Walden after his heart attack, but Zoe knows that he's just milking it and sets out to prove it.
Oh Look! Al-Qaeda!
episode S9.E24 may 2012Jake and Eldridge make an important decision about their future after they graduate from high school and get fired from their jobs at Walden's new company.
I Changed My Mind About the Milk
episode S10.E1 september 2012Walden weighs his options after his elaborate marriage proposal featuring fireworks and Michael Bolton fails.
Nangnangnangnang
episode S11.E1 september 2013Walden is forced to deal with two freeloading Harpers when Charlie's daughter that nobody knew he had arrives at the beach house.
I Think I Banged Lucille Ball
episode S11.E2 october 2013Charlie's daughter Jenny moves in with Evelyn and her 91 1/2 year old boyfriend, and Lyndsey cheats on her new boyfriend with Alan.
Bite Me, Supreme Court
episode S11.E13 january 2014Marty proposes to Evelyn, and she accepts. But after Alan and Walden throw Marty a bachelor party, he abruptly calls off the wedding.
Oh WALD-E, Good Times Ahead
episode S11.E22 may 2014When Alan and Gretchen get engaged and Larry calls off the wedding, Lyndsey goes off the deep end. Meanwhile, Walden creates a smart-aleck robot.
A Chic Bar in Ibiza
episode S12.E2 november 2014Alan has second thoughts about getting married when Walden has him sign a prenup.
Family, Bublé, Deep-Fried Turkey
episode S12.E8 december 2014Walden hopes to create the perfect Christmas experience for Louis, who has lost his faith in Christmas. But Santa, Alan's mom Evelyn, and Alan's cheapness threaten to ruin everything.
Of Course He's Dead: Part 1 & 2
episode S12.E15 february 2015Alan begins to suspect that Charlie is still alive, which is confirmed when he receives a threatening package and Rose tells the truth.
- Most Chicks Won't Eat Veal: Original Pilot
- Pilot
- Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell
- Did You Check with the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?
- Phase One, Complete
- Merry Thanksgiving
- Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor
- Sarah Like Puny Alan
- I Can't Afford Hyenas
- Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats
- An Old Flame with a New Wick
- I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You
- Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark
- My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet
- Just Like Buffalo
- Can You Feel My Finger
- Enjoy Those Garlic Balls
- Go Get Mommy's Bra
- The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance
- A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana
- Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers
- Those Big Pink Things with Coconut
- It Was Mame, Mom
- I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey
- A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On
- That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother
- Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab
- Does This Smell Funny to You
- Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts
- Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark
- Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs
- We Called It Mr. Pinky
- Hi, Mr. Horned One
- Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop
- Something Salted and Twisted
- Santa's Village of the Damned
- Humiliation Is a Visual Medium
- My Tongue Is Meat
- Ergo, the Booty Call
- The Unfortunate Little Schnauzer
- That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite
- Working for Caligula
- The Sea Is a Harsh Mistress
- A Pot Smoking Monkey
- Apologies for the Frivolity
- Walnuts and Demerol
- Castrating Sheep in Montana
- Don't Worry, Speed Racer
- I Merely Slept with a Commie
- Prostitutes and Gelato
- Media Room Slash Dungeon
- Putting Swim Fins on a Cat
- Help Daddy Find His Toenail
- Our Leather Gear Is in the Guest Room
- Tight's Good
- A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh
- Look at Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty
- Fish in a Drawer
- Waiting for the Right Snapper
- Taterhead Is Our Love Child
- Pie Hole, Herb
- The Mooch at the Boo
- He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited
- The Devil's Lube
- David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie
- Hello, I am Alan Cousteau
- Above Exalted Cyclops
- Whipped Unto the Third Generation
- Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator
- Give Me Your Thumb
- Untainted by Filth
- That's Why They Call It 'Ball Room'
- Warning, It's Dirty
- Crude and Uncalled For
- Aye, Aye, Captain Douche
- Tinkle Like a Princess
- Gumby with a Pokey
- A Pudding-Filled Cactus
- The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel
- The Crazy Bitch Gazette
- Springtime on a Stick
- Ow, Ow, Don't Stop
- Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak
- Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt
- People Who Love Peepholes
- Those Fancy Japanese Toilets
- Frodo's Headshots
- A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes
- Palmdale, Ech
- Grandma's Pie
- Why We Gave Up Women
- The Straw in My Donut Hole
- Oh Look! Al-Qaeda!
- I Changed My Mind About the Milk
- Nangnangnangnang
- I Think I Banged Lucille Ball
- Bite Me, Supreme Court
- Oh WALD-E, Good Times Ahead
- A Chic Bar in Ibiza
- Family, Bublé, Deep-Fried Turkey
- Of Course He's Dead: Part 1 & 2
Best moments10
- After Charlie and Alan tell their mom that nobody loves her enough to attend her funeral, she replaces them with a new family, which makes both of them very jealous.
- Alan and Lyndsey introduce their mothers to each other, while Walden spends the night hanging out with Jake and Eldrige since Zoey is still out of town.
- Zoe is upset when she finds out that Bridget is a business partner in Walden's latest venture, while Alan and Lyndsey have an awkward dinner with their moms, who are now lovers and are planning to move in together.
- Repressed memories come back to the surface for Charlie after Jake talks about hearing his mom having sex.
- Jake gets Alan to invite Evelyn to Charlie's house for her birthday dinner to get revenge for Charlie ruining his chances with a classmate; and Alan and Charlie get Charlie's pharmacist to come along as Evelyn's date.
- Charlie's Satan-worshiping girlfriend has a knack for the supernatural, and seems to be the cause of some strange happenings around the Harper house.
- Evelyn's condescending attitude towards Jake's good grades sets Charlie and Alan out for revenge.
- When Charlie's fiancée Chelsea convinces him to let Alan's girlfriend Melissa move in, the girls take over the house.
- Walden hires Evelyn as his interior decorator, but Alan is convinced that she just wants to take advantage of him sexually. Meanwhile, Alan inherits Charlie's journal, and Jake has a crush on his tutor, but she has a crush on Walden.
- Charlie and his mom temporarily become friends until Charlie takes an interest in one of her married clients and Alan goes to bed with a woman who has self-esteem issues.
- I Merely Slept with a Commie
- Palmdale, Ech
- Grandma's Pie
- Don't Worry, Speed Racer
- Springtime on a Stick
- Hi, Mr. Horned One
- Those Big Pink Things with Coconut
- Whipped Unto the Third Generation
- Those Fancy Japanese Toilets
- Media Room Slash Dungeon