Brian & Casey accidentally burn down Joe's house. Helen and Joe spend their honeymoon making love.

When digging through the rubble of Helen's home, Brian and Casey unearth a suitcase and photograph that had been the Hackett brother's only inheritance from their late father. Brian's attempts to remind Joe of that fails, but Joe later sees a vision of his late father and forgives Brian. Meanwhile, Antonio takes his revenge on Brian and Casey, and Helen takes out her anger on Casey's clothes.

A member of a wealthy family hires Joe and Brian to fly to Miami to pick up the remains of the family patriarch, who died there. But because they drank a lot the night before they left, a hungover Joe picks up the wrong casket. So now the right casket must be picked up. Unable to admit their mistake, the viewing remains scheduled to proceed. Brian suggests that Joe be made up to look like the dead man and take his place in the coffin until the dead man's body arrives. While in the coffin, Joe overhears some interesting information about the man and his family.

Lowell witnesses a crime, and the perp tries to get him not to testify. The Feds then offer to place Lowell in the Witness Protection Program. But he learns he would no longer be able to see his friends, so he asks Joe what he should do. Joe tries to give him advice but tells him that ultimately it's Lowell's decision.

Joe and Brian arrange a gorgeous date for Antonio.

Helen goes on a buying binge with insurance money from her burned house; Brian and Casey search for something they have in common besides sex. Monkees' Peter Tork has a cameo.

Joe and Helen hire an architect to build their dream house.

Brian's incessant eating affects his work; Joe tells him to get his act together. Helen tells Brian he should attend her overeaters support group meetings; when Brian goes, he reveals why he is eating so much. Antonio buys a pair of expensive shoes that are a little tight; he says he just has to break them in, but it appears his feet will break first. Casey goes to a job interview and pretends to be a fan of the Three Stooges because the interviewer is a Three Stooges fan.

Helen and Joe argue over details of their new house. Antonio takes his new self-help tapes to an extreme, and Casey's horrible new Nantucket Island slogan all work their way into Joe's dreams.

It's Christmas. Joe wants to go on a last-minute Vermont ski trip with Helen, but she wants to throw her planned traditional Christmas party. Joe agrees on the condition they leave for Vermont as soon as the party is over. Brian tells Casey he's bringing a date, informing her because of their relationship. She tells him she's also bringing a date. She later lies, claiming the repulsive Lewis is her date. During the party, Joe learns that snow will shut down travel to Vermont, so he tries to rush the party. Antonio brings gifts for everyone, but they don't reciprocate so he gets irate. When everybody tries to leave, Helen stops them. The partygoers soon discover their wallets are missing, and they accuse each other.

Casey brings a TV star to Nantucket to help publicize the island. Joe and Helen take care of their friend's child to see if they will make good parents.

A man shows up who says he's Joe and Brian's grandfather.

Roy's son RJ returns to the island to attend his dad's birthday party after a 5-year separation.

Lyle, a man Fay met while on vacation comes to the island to court her. He proposes to her and they were in the process of getting married when the minister utters his full name. That's when Fay freaks out, because he has the same name as her other dead husbands. She then goes to Joe who is nursing a cold to ask him what she should do.

Joe and Brian decide to go to a hockey game in Boston. They ask Antonio to man the counter. He gives the last seat to an old woman. And then a guy who says he was booked to go on the flight arrives. But because he was late Antonio gave away the last seat. He says that he will regret it. Joe and Brian return and say the game was disappointing because the star player wasn't there. And Antonio tells them about the guy and they learn it was the hockey player. He later goes on the air and blames Sandpiper for missing the game. And that's when they're the most hated people on the planet.

In the air on Valentine's Day, Brian and a passenger fall madly in love with each other. On the ground, Roy has a date with Antonio's former girlfriend - Edna, the big-faced girl.

Helen learns that her ex boyfriend Davis has been detained in Asia for over a year and is now on his way back to see her. She then tells Joe to go to Boston to get something. The guys are wondering what's up with Helen. She tells them that she didn't break up with him when she accepted Joe's proposal. She tells them that on the night she was going to see Davis, Joe proposed to her and she accepted. She told Joe that she has to see him alone but when she sees him, he surprises her with a surprise engagement party. And before she could tell Davis she accepted Joe's proposal he left for Asia. When he arrives she finds it difficult to tell him that she married Joe. And when Joe comes back the guys keep him from seeing Helen with Davis.

When Joe learns that Sandy Cooper (the woman he says is obsessed with him) is coming, he freaks out. Helen thinks he's out of his mind. And when she arrives, she's there for Brian. Joe goes on about how demented she is, Helen takes him to a therapist. But during one of his sessions Sandy shows up claiming to be his wife.

Antonio thinks his fortunes have taken a turn for the better, when one of his passengers hires him to a be his personal chauffeur. But some overheard conversations seem to indicate that his new boss is a mobster (he's actually a diamond broker). Meanwhile, Helen hurriedly reads "Don Quixote" when her old english lit teacher from highschool drops by for a visit.

Casey learns her job with the Tourism Board is hanging by a thread. But her boss informs her that he's going to give one of her ideas the go ahead and that is to get Nantucket a sister city. She finds one and the head, a Prince is coming with his wife to make it official. One of Brian's passengers, a woman comes on to him. The next day the Prince arrives and meets Casey. She asks where's the Princess and he says she came in the day before. When she arrives at the airfield to meet the Prince, Brian says she's the one he hooked up with. He then tells Casey about it and that he won't attend the party which he was suppose to go with Casey. But the princess insists he come. So Casey tries to make sure nothing happens till the bond between them is finalized. And Joe is bothered when guys flirt with Helen and she doesn't discourage it.

Helen and Joe hire a contractor to build their new house. Meanwhile, Brian stalks George Kennedy.

After a chance encounter, Antonio searches for the girl he shared a moment with in the airport. He enlists everyone's help to try to find her. Brian and Helen size up women at the ticket counters for emotional baggage that they might carry.

Joe finds the time capsule, he, Brian, Helen and Casey buried when they were kids. Inside are letters that they wrote what they thought they would be in the future. So they each read their letter, Joe thought he would be baseball star, Brian thought he would be a spy, Casey thought she would be a supermodel. And they thought Helen would still be the fat girl And Helen is a musician.

Joe and Brian learn that a woman whom they know who's an exotic dancer will be performing for the last time. They decide to attend her last performance, but Joe deceives Helen about the true nature of the trip. When Helen asks Joe where he is going, he tells her he is off to a retirement home to do volunteer work, hoping he'll be able to look Helen in the eye when he returns home.

When Casey discovers where her wayward husband is, she goes after him to get back what he ran off with. Only, when she finds him, he claims he lost everything.

Joe and Helen need to sell their jinxed lot so they can buy their dream home.