When the family gets a new couch, Hal loses the old one on the way to the dump, causing a train accident with dire consequences for the whole neighborhood. While Hal tries to make it up to society, Dewey makes people believe he is an orphan. Reese starts a black market, while Malcolm is grounded and confined to the bunk in the emergency camp. Meanwhile Eric takes Francis on a somewhat different double-date.

Malcolm sneaks around to date a girl whose father hates him; Hal and Lois become more productive when they can't have sex for a week; Dewey discovers he's an "evil twin"; Francis mediates a dispute between Otto and his cowboy neighbors.

Malcolm is fed up with the fact that every time he complains, something wrong happens. He has recently got kicked off the basketball team and vows not to complain anymore. He receives good results by not complaining - he gets back on the team, negates Lois' anger by not talking back to her, and gains the respect of his girlfriend, Nicki, who shares a kiss with him. Next, Hal decides to be a speed waker and soon gets competitive with a local walker. Meanwhile, Reese wants to take Alison to a concert and the only driver he can find is Craig Feldspar. However, Craig has plans of his own for his two passengers - a hay ride and a bonfire dinner. Alison is fed up and pepper sprays him and threatens to give Reese the same treatment if he doesn't let her go her own way. He's pissed off as Craig plays his ukulele and sings a song from Air Supply.

Lois uses a long drive with Malcolm to further his sex education; Reese spends a day in prison; Dewey plants seeds of discontent in Hal's vocal group; Francis has an accident branding Otto's favorite cow.

When Hal kicks Malcolm out of the house for misbehaving, Reese tries to take advantage of Hal's distraction to come up with a truly bad stunt of his own, and Francis takes offense when Otto's musician nephew plays a musical accompaniment to Francis' every move.

Malcolm sneaks around to date a girl whose father hates him; Hal and Lois become more productive when they can't have sex for a week; Dewey discovers he's an "evil twin"; Francis mediates a dispute between Otto and his cowboy neighbors.

When Hal kicks Malcolm out of the house for misbehaving, Reese tries to take advantage of Hal's distraction to come up with a truly bad stunt of his own, and Francis takes offense when Otto's musician nephew plays a musical accompaniment to Francis' every move.

Malcolm is fed up with the fact that every time he complains, something wrong happens. He has recently got kicked off the basketball team and vows not to complain anymore. He receives good results by not complaining - he gets back on the team, negates Lois' anger by not talking back to her, and gains the respect of his girlfriend, Nicki, who shares a kiss with him. Next, Hal decides to be a speed waker and soon gets competitive with a local walker. Meanwhile, Reese wants to take Alison to a concert and the only driver he can find is Craig Feldspar. However, Craig has plans of his own for his two passengers - a hay ride and a bonfire dinner. Alison is fed up and pepper sprays him and threatens to give Reese the same treatment if he doesn't let her go her own way. He's pissed off as Craig plays his ukulele and sings a song from Air Supply.