When Jimmy returns to work, he hires Sabrina's cousin Shelley - a/k/a "Dead Tooth" - to babysit Hope. Meanwhile, Burt tries to get Virginia to quit smoking.

When the doctor refuses to comment on Hope's symptoms, probably just a cold, without insurance data, Jimmy is shocked to learn his family never got some. An embarrassing episode, trying to buy potentially addictive cough-syrup at the supermarket, inspires Jimmy to seek employment there, as it comes with insurance. Burt however may not know, as he claims he can get the whole family insured by winning a city contract biding against his former employer, Green Thumb, which even Virginia won't believe. meanwhile maw maw in quarantined, or at least that's attempted, for a cold could kill her.

After it becomes painfully clear that Hope starts imitating her canine companions in the day care center, Jimmy decides it's his duty to get her into a prestigious kindergarten, which is way beyond the Chances' means, so their only hope is the single scholarship for the underprivileged, for which competition is murderous. It's utterly impossible as long as the 'blue dot' on their home isn't taken off the sex offenders website. It refers to Burt's teenage arrest for clumsy sex with willing but underage Virginia. They appeal to crazy TV lawyer Wally Phipps. Alas, dealing with the court and costs results in fresh convictions for both utterly unladylike 'ladies'. Jimmy is reduced to shameless lies, but can't go trough with fraud at even poorer kids' expense.

Jimmy wants Hope's first Thanksgiving to be an all-American traditional family dinner, not the Chances' mere pizza. Jimmy even insists to invites the maternal grandparents, Dr. Dale and his wife Margine, who went crazy out of grief over their daughter's crime and execution. Jimmy painstakingly makes his family accommodate Dale's weird 'therapy' for Margine, only to be rewarded by Hope being kidnapped, gets her back and still extends a second invitation. Meanwhile lonely Barney from the supermarket offers to come cook a traditional feast for the all, instead of having to eat his all alone.

The Chances get caught in Virginia's web of lies when her cousin Delilah, whom she told Maw-Maw was dead, turns up to claim her share of the estate, her business being wiped out by the crisis. Their rivalry started when Delilah, who was spoiled and better at everything else, lost most desirable teenager Burt to jealous Virginia, so she proposes an alternative mode of payment: in 'bedroom' kind. Jimmy was to mind the 'deceased' inconspicuously, but she escapes and crashes back in.

The Chances prepare to host once more Burt's cousin Mike, a hopeless loser even by their standards. Yet they find him a changed man, as neat member of a loony sect, one of Tanya's four 'brother-husbands'. Jimmy is inadvertently attracted by their neat, apparently harmonious 'fraternity'. Alas, Mike is 'divorced' and moves in whining and desperate, worse then ever. Burt has another confrontation with his brother Bruce, who wants help to get his son Mike back and gets it after explaining why he threw the boy out years ago.

Realizing the three adult Chances are klutzes and a danger to themselves, Jimmy worries whether Hope will be taken care of after an accident. After an attempt to have them teach each other 'survival tricks' collapses in bickering, Jimmy drags his parents to dodgy lawyer Wally Phipps, who inspires including a fourth potential guardian, Sabrina. Actually she's afraid of the responsibility, and Burt is offended that she ranks higher. Their survival skills are tested frightfully realistically when an armed Maw Maw mistakes them all for 'dangerous mongooses'.

Jimmy hopes gullible Sabrina's boyfriend Wyatt may be cheating on her in college, so he insists to go with her to Wyatt's frat's wild costume party, but conclusive evidence is perilously hard to find. In order to have contact with generation peers, Maw Maw goes to Dead Tooth's daycare. She falls for a man who also lives in the past, but that includes an affair with another crone, supposedly from his Korean War days.

Barney tells the team he loses each year's annual commercial competition for the store, so now he wants to recruit his employees to compete for this year's submission; unfortunately, flattery and considerations like fair-play, and team spirit, get in the way. As Hope's baby-monitor accidentally tunes into a neighbors house, eavesdropping Burt discovers Andrew is being abused by his tyrannical, impossible-to-please wife, Donna, and wants to help. Virginia is reluctant, not wanting to be seen as a nosy neighbor, but agrees to help (which proves harder then expected).

Jimmy doesn't mind at 23 sharing his birthday with Maw Maw, although it was hell as a kid, when she had lots of friends and he none. When he turned 18, in his impertinent Goth period (alias 'Drakkar Noir'), she 'finally' felt able to throw the Chances trio out of her home, so they had to grow up suddenly, seeking real job incomes supplemented by devious ways to skin the supermarket. Five years ago however, her mind went, so they got the house back with her as senile resident hazard.

Watching his 13-year-old self play the piano and singly beautifully, on home video, Jimmy sees through the claim that it was just a pianola, now broken. Virginia owns up to feeling guilty for having strangled Jimmy's talent, estranging him from his schoolmates, until a golf club from the air knocks Jimmy down and the musical talent out of him, later the subject of another confession. After consulting Dr. Finklestein, the Chances try to reconstruct the past, including Maw Maw's cruel and unorthodox tutoring methods, hoping Jimmy's memory may be restored. It seems to do so and Jimmy is bribed into the music school's annual concert, only to find out otherwise, yet there's a consolation prize to his taste.

Virginia, Burt, Jimmy, Sabrina, Maw Maw and Hope camp out on the front lawn after their house becomes tented for termites, but getting caught in the rain is the least of their problems. After learning that Hope hit a boy at day care, the family attempts to stop arguing out of fear that she will follow in her serial killer mom's footsteps.

The Chances dream of winning riches and fame at the National Invention Convention Extravaganza, whose star Andrew Dice Clay is announced to a stop in town. Each family member is supposed to come up with one brilliant novelty, but only greediest Virginia actually does so alone, sponges under the armpits to save deodorant. Jimmy dares not offend Sabrina by turning down her 'improvement', which actually wrecks his idea, a mob operated by a crawling baby. Burt and half-wit neighbor protégé Andrew come up with bro-gurt, macho flavors of yogurt. Competition day proves ruthless for candidates on various grounds, with a sting.

A remarkably recognizable movie forces the Chances to have a look at their own family life. For Jimmy, Maw-Maw's spirit takes him on a frightening journey to an alternative future, if he hadn't met Hope's mother and hence remained childless. the consequences prove surprisingly grave for just about every relative and even his supermarket colleagues.

Tired of losing family possession to the pawn shop, Burt is tempted to resume gambling. Unlike his officially addicted period, he's on a winning streak. Virginia sees that as a handicap in curing him, but Jimmy and she end up playing and winning too, so the bookies want to cut them off. However the pivotal moment comes when Sabrina accuses them of missing Hope's first school play.

In a revolutionary mood, Sabrina starts a wide protest, but once the police arrives her followers invoke excuses one by one, even Jimmy deserts. Stubbornly provoking arrest, she lands in a prison. Her block is handled by jealous, frustrated jailer Rikki Hargrove, who feels deserted by her since their girl scouts days and seizes her chance to make Sabrina sweat. Hell-bent on preserving mayor Suzie Hellmann as Hope's sole female role model, Virginia saves the corrupt crazy bitch's bacon. As a reward, Burt extracts three wishes for the family. He squanders his on a stop sign, she hers on a cooler park for the barrio, but when Jimmy tries to use his to free Sabrina, Suzie, dumped by businessman Richard Galleria, demands a date with the cute Chance and turns on the family when politely turned down for fidelity's sake.

Sabrina's new study buddy Philip is a gorgeous hunk, so Virginia convinces Jimmy he must be considered a likely rival, probably harder to eliminate than Wyatt. A dirty trick with text messages after stealing her phone does the trick, but only leads to the arrival of another stud, Philip. In the process, Burt gets hold of a tacky 'boobs mobile', which proves a bizarre success with his neighborhood mates. Jimmy comes up with a backup theory based on Sabrina's ample supplies of everything, but learns it's rooted in a family trauma.

The Chances and Lucy go to war in the court room when Lucy wants to have custody of Hope.

The chances meet Sabrina's family.

When a Social Services worker comes to visit when a complaint is filed against Hope, she becomes more interested in how Maw Maw's being treated; Meanwhile, Sabrina tries to get rid of Jimmy's favorite shirt.

Frank throws Jimmy a bachelor party.

Jimmy and Sabrina tie the knot.

It's a Mother's Day to remember as Burt and Barney take a road trip to Maw Maw's childhood home.

A mysterious Natesville resident keeps popping up in the Chances' lives.

"Groce-letes" from around the world descend on Natesville for the International Grocery Games, where competitors battle for supremacy in the aisles of Howdy's. But, when the American delegation is embroiled in a shocking performance-enhancing drug scandal, the Howdy's team, along with Burt and Virginia, must pick up the torch for the Stars & Stripes.

Virginia plans her father's wedding in exchange for his paying for Hope's college tuition.