Antonio Scarpacci is a fictional character portrayed by Tony Shalhoub in the TV series Wings.
In the first episode they appeared in, titled Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places (season 2), they were 37 years old.
They appear in 144 episodes out of a total of 172 aired and have accumulated 592 positive votes.
The character of Antonio Scarpacci is mainly associated with Joe Montgomery Hackett, Brian Michael Hackett and Helen Chapel.
Episodes144
Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places
episode S2.E17 february 1991Valentine's Day gets off to a rocky start for Helen and Joe. Joe's gift of chocolates is not appreciated by the once-overweight Helen. Helen apologizes for taking it the wrong way, sending Joe a note telling him to meet her at their "special place" later that night. However, they have different places in mind -- for Joe, it's Indian Point, where they had their first date. For Helen, it's Pontorelli's, where they first ate. After a confusing night, they finally end up at Pontorelli's for a late Valentine's Day. Meanwhile, when Roy's blind date exceeds all his low expectations, all he can do is try and figure out what's wrong with her.Is That a Subpoena in Your Pocket...?
episode S3.E2 september 1991Following Helen's damage to his office, Joe tries to get her to pay for the damages. When she refuses, Joe decides to sue her.The Taming of the Shrew
episode S3.E3 october 1991Helen's anger issues with Joe result in her attending a group meeting after the persuasion of her friends.I Ain't Got No Bunny
episode S3.E4 october 1991Joe and Brian discover that Lowell is sleeping at the airfield. He tells them that he and his wife, Bunny are on the skids because he thinks that she's throwing herself at other men. They tell him to try and work things out. So he takes his wife out. The next day, he tells them things didn't work out because he assumed she was hitting on a guy. He then asks them if one of them can talk to her. Brian offers to do but Joe thinks he shouldn't. When he talks she comes on to him and Joe walks in before anything happens. Now they have to tell Lowell he has to get away from her.If Elected, I Will Not Live
episode S3.E5 october 1991When Roy's opponent for a seat on the town council drops out, the gang convince Joe to run against him. But the surprise endorsement of Joe's campaign manager Fay, by the local newspaper, gives Roy more competition than he can handle. So Roy concocts a plan, involving a story about how he has never won anything his entire life. Touched by Roy's story of his embarrassing failures in grade school, Fay throws the election.My Brother's Keeper
episode S3.E6 november 1991A wealthy woman comes to the island and takes a liking to Brian and it isn't long before he becomes her boy toy. The gang is hoping that Brian can get her to invest with them or donate to some benefit they're involved with. But Joe tells Brian that he should be ashamed of himself but is having too much of a good time to listen. Joe then decides to tell her what he thinks of her but she cuts him off by saying she wants to invest with him, that's when he changes his tune.Crate Expectations
episode S3.E7 november 1991It's Joe's birthday and he tells everyone that he prefer not to celebrate it. Brian decides to throw him a surprise party and everyone agrees to help. Later Joe overhears them planning the party and he's touched. But later they all realize they have prior commitments so they have to reschedule. Fay then tells Joe that he has to stay and take receipt of some items that are going to be delivered to the hanger later and that everyone else has plans. Joe thinking that it's a ruse to make sure he's around for the party goes along with it. But when a man delivering a crate arrives, he thinks that they're in the crate and is expecting them to be inside but is disappointed that they're not. And the next day is sore at everyone for pulling a fast one on him. So Brian tells him the party was rescheduled and asks him to be there. And when Joe tells Brian of the assumption he made about the crate, Brian decides to do that. But the person Brian puts in charge of bringing the crate to Joe makes a mistake.Ladies Who Lunch
episode S3.E8 november 1991When Helen and Gail continue to bicker, Joe wants them to make peace. So he tells them to spend some time together and it isn't before long that they're buddies and talking about Joe's deepest secrets. When word comes out that the President will have a layover; Roy wants to get his picture taken with him and Fay wants to touch the First Lady which she has been doing with the last 8 First Ladies.Try to Remember the Night He Dismembered
episode S3.E9 december 1991Under hypnosis, Roy confesses to a crime he did, now it's up to the rest to figure out what to do.The Late Mrs. Biggins
episode S3.E10 december 1991Pressured by questions, Roy reveals his wife Sylvia is not dead after all, instead living in Boston after having deserted him abruptly sixteen years ago. In the company of Brian, Roy flies to Boston to win his wife back. Roy's efforts are for naught, however, as Sylvia refuses to leave her life as the wife of a rich plastic surgeon to return to Nantucket with him.The Bogey Men
episode S3.E11 december 1991Brian tries to scam a time-share out of a weekend of golf by signing up for a sales pitch he has no intention of attending. Joe, Roy, and Lowell tag along. The trip is ruined by a tropical storm in Florida.Marriage, Italian Style
episode S3.E12 january 1992Antonio learns that he's facing the possibility of being deported. They think the best way is for him to marry an American. So they try to find someone willing to marry him. But on the day that he told immigration that he's suppose to get married, the woman they found doesn't show up.Divorce, American Style
episode S3.E13 january 1992Helen marries Antonio to keep him from being deported. But she's dreading having to stay married to him for the time required for him to get his citizenship. But Brian learns of another way for Antonio to get his green card. And that is for him to enter the Green Card lottery, so Helen tries to get as many applications out so that he can get his green card and she can no longer be married to him.Stew in a Stew
episode S3.E14 january 1992Fay is understanding when Joe tells her he won't be able to give her a raise, but when she sees the brothers gloating over a pair of new leather flight jackets, she quits. She accepts a position at Aeromass, while Joe struggles at Sandpiper. After Brian tells the story of how they met years ago, their differences are finally resolved.This Old House
episode S3.E15 january 1992Brian and Joe learn that the house where they lived is going to be demolished. While Faye tries to see if she can do anything to keep it from happening, they go to see it one last time. And they remember when they first moved in and how things were when their parents were still together. And they even recall how they first met Helen.Planes, Trains and Visiting Cranes
episode S3.E16 february 1992Frasier Crane comes to the island to conduct a workshop. And it's while conducting his workshop that Helen sees him and says he's the man who ruined her life. it seems that he advised her to leave the island and go to New York. Frasier brings her on stage to talk and while he fails to convince her, it was not his fault, he passes the buck to Joe. Who then stands up and says he did nothing.Das Plane
episode S3.E17 february 1992Joe donates a free trip to a charity auction. And the man who bought is Carlton Blanchard, an old man is not quite all there. When asked where he wants to go, he answers Las Cruces, New Mexico which is not where they usually go. At first, they're not willing to do it but when he tells them, he's going to see his brother whom he hasn't seen in years, they give it a shot. Lowell and Antonio tag along.Take My Life, Please
episode S3.E18 february 1992When Helen loses her job as a Realtor, she finds herself wondering what's she's going to do now. Antonio suggests she take a test that determines what job she would be suitable for. She takes it but when the results arrive, Antonio saw the results and tells everyone that it said her choices were either music or food service. The gang thinks they should change the results. So Joe tells Fay to put in law which is something Joe says she was interested in before. When Fay asks what should she put on the second choice, Joe tells her to put something. Helen reads and is more taken by the second choice, stand up comedian, so she tries to get her routine ready.Four Dates That Will Live in Infamy
episode S3.E19 april 1992The gang goes on dates through a service and meet up at the Club Car to tell their odd stories.The Bank Dick
episode S3.E20 april 1992After returning from a vacation made possible by a hefty tax refund, Brian finds out that the refund was an error. To help pay of his bet he takes on a second as a security guard at the bank. But he's fired after a robbery and it's back to flying. But while flying Antonio to Boston he discovers the robber is on board the plane. Unfortunately, the robber also recognizes Brian and pulls a gun out to force Brian to land in a field. Brian dares the would be Hi-Jacker to kill him as the plane is screaming towards the ground, the robber gives in first and hands the gun to Antonio. Meanwhile, Antonio leaves for a trip to his home country of Italy and no one cares.Say It Ain't So, Joe
episode S3.E21 april 1992Joe's old baseball coach wants him to bring the player who's poised to break Joe's record. While on route, Joe learns that the player among other things will be getting a car and Joe will be the butt of some jokes. When the airport tells Joe that it's not uncertain if conditions are good for him to land but they want him to make that decision and he decides not to making people think he didn't want the player to break his record.As Fate Would Have It
episode S3.E22 may 1992The episode begins with everyone in a plane headed for Boston but they're caught in a storm and uncertain of their fate. Then we see how they got there; it began when Helen got an opportunity to perform in Boston. But everyone can't make it because prior engagements. Then somehow everyone becomes free.Lifeboat
episode S4.E1 september 1992The gang who were on their way to watch Helen perform but something goes wrong with the plane and they land in the water. They're on a lifeboat in the middle of the ocean. And they wonder if someone will find them. But they are found. And when Joe goes back to the island, he considers leaving because without the plane, that's the end of Sandpiper.The Fortune Cookie
episode S4.E2 october 1992Angry at the nearly non-existent aid from his insurance company, Joe lets Brian convince him to fake an injury to get more money out of his insurers. Despite Helen's loud objections, they get a shady doctor's letter and wait for the insurers. But Joe gets cold feet at the last minute, forcing the two brothers to have to switch roles. The investigator is a beautiful woman who quickly fools Brian into giving away the whole scam, and the two brothers look like they're headed for court or worse. But their panic is unnecessary, as Helen reveals the investigator is a friend of hers; she just wanted to teach the brothers a lesson. But then Roy shows up with a check from Joe's insurers for non-existent injuries, and Helen beats a hasty retreat.Noses Off
episode S4.E3 october 1992Sandpiper is finally back in business, but Joe's nose is broken by a man who mistakes him for Brian. At the surgeon's office, the doctor's observation of a bump on Brian's nose has him obsessing about getting a nose job.Blackout Buggins
episode S4.E4 october 1992Roy complains out loud about the singing of the national anthem at a Red Sox game; he believes he could do far better. So with Brian's connections in the Sox front office, Roy is given the chance to sing at Fenway. Roy responds by blacking out while doing the national anthem at the game.Mathers of the Heart
episode S4.E5 october 1992Lowell convinces Helen to go on a date.Two Jerks and a Jill
episode S4.E6 november 1992The arrival on Nantucket of beautiful new helicopter pilot, Alex Lambert, soon has the brothers chasing after her, despite her obvious non-interest. Meanwhile, Antonio gets invited to the Tuesday night rat shoot with Lowell and his buddies Tom and Tucker, where he upstages Lowell by shooting more rats.It's So Nice to Have a Mather Around the House
episode S4.E7 november 1992Alex agrees to a date with Brian at the Parade of Tall Ships. Brian borrows Lowell's boat for the event. But Brian sinks Lowell's boat. Joe and Brian are then forced into inviting Lowell to stay with them for a while and are surprised at how well Lowell cooks and how eager he is to do the household chores. They enjoy his visit so much that when his insurance check arrives they decide to hang onto it for a little while. But soon the honeymoon comes to an end as Lowell's strict discipline rubs the Hackett's the wrong way. But when they've agreed to boot Lowell out they discover his check is missing. At supper that night, he confronts them with the check. While ironing out the misunderstanding about the check, the brothers and Lowell make peace and they invite him to stay on.Just Say No
episode S4.E8 november 1992Joe and Helen watch with trepidation as one of Brian's old girlfriends, Shannon Moss, arrives for a visit. Their fears are soon realized when Brian falls under her spell yet again. The fact is that she is just using him to boost her own fragile ego. For her career is in trouble, and her boyfriend has just dumped her. But Brian thinks they're starting a real relationship this time. As always, Shannon pushes him aside once her life seems to fall back into place. Brian doesn't wake up to the truth until goaded by Joe and Helen into a final confrontation with Shannon in the airport.It May Have Happened One Night
episode S4.E9 december 1992Rumors abound at the airport when Antonio reveals he saw Joe's car parked outside of Alex's apartment late the night before. Soon the airport - especially Brian and Helen - is buzzing about the possibilities. Since Alex had been intoxicated that night, Joe is the only one who knows the real truth and he won't tell. Alex then makes a big scene and pretends to leave after he won't tell even her. But she soon returns, and he eventually tells her the whole story. They share a steamy kiss.The Customer's Usually Right
episode S4.E10 december 1992Joe is irritated about getting charged a rewind fee for a returned video tape which he believes was rewound. It ends up costing the nice old lady at the video store her job. His chagrin deepens when he finds out that the tape hadn't been rewound. More guilt is heaped upon his shoulders when he finds out the lady suffered a stroke following her firing. He visits the woman at the hospital, only to find her entire family present, and she seems to recover after hearing his apologetic words.Exit Laughing
episode S4.E11 january 1993Helen dates a guy with an annoying laugh. Antonio has trouble with his jerk neighbor.What the Cabbie Saw
episode S4.E12 january 1993Antonio performs his civic duty when he helps bring to court a suspected robber and then testifies against him. But then the suspect gets released on a technicality and Antonio starts to fear for his life.Labor Pains
episode S4.E13 january 1993After a trip to see a friend in Boston at Logan Airport and finding out how much more he gets paid, Lowell decides to ask Roy and Joe for a raise. Following Antonio's advice, Lowell threatens to leave for a job in Boston if his demands aren't met. Joe can't afford the raise and Roy refuses to cough up any more money. Even though he doesn't want that job in Boston, Lowell continues to bluff, until he finds himself out of a job, replaced by Gil, and saying goodbye to his friends. But later that night Lowell returns much to everyone's surprise, and pays Antonio back for his advice.I've Got a Secret
episode S4.E14 february 1993Loose talk at Helen's house one night between Antonio,Helen and Alex reveals Alex once posed for Playboy. Helen and Antonio promise to keep it a secret,but at the airport the following Monday,Joe and Brian quickly find out about it. They then quickly raid Roy's office and his collection of Playboys, eventually finding the photo. Antonio becomes the focus of Alex's wrath, but it is soon revealed the secret was leaked by a subconsciously jealous Helen at the beauty parlor. Angry Words are exchanged between Alex and Helen when the truth comes to light. The situation is diffused by a very anxious Fay, who wants to use the bathroom and can't while they are arguing.The Gift: Part 1
episode S4.E15 february 1993With an opening in a quartet, Helen wants to try out but her cello is on the bottom of the ocean. She gets a second job to purchase a new cello but things do not go as planned. Lowell, Faye, Roy and Antonio audition for a play.The Gift: Part 2
episode S4.E16 february 1993Helen gets the quartet role but hates it. However, she doesn't know how to quit without letting Joe and Brian down. Faye, Roy, Antonio and Lowell practice for their awful play.I Love Brian
episode S4.E17 february 1993Hoping to impress Alex, Brian claims to know Clint Black. So they go to Boston where he has a show and they go to his hotel room and that's when things get complicated.The Key to Alex
episode S4.E18 march 1993In their pursuit of Alex,Joe and Brian take some indirect tips from Helena as she describes her own reactions to another's man advances. But Alex sees through all their ploys, until Joe and Brian finally resort to honest conversation over dinner to settle their relationship with Alex.The Houseguest
episode S4.E19 april 1993To cheer up Carlton Blanchard on a lonely birthday, Helen invites him to her house for a party. But after Carlton falls down her stairs and threatens a lawsuit from his lawyer son,Helen's hospitality is stretched to the limit as he settles in her living room to recover from his injuries. Finally, Helen discovers two things that are no surprise at all. Carlton doesn't have a lawyer for a son and his injuries are imaginary. So she boots him out.Goodbye, Old Friend
episode S4.E20 april 1993Weeb Gilroy's death has Lowell searching for the right words to write for a eulogy for his long time friend. Words fail him at the end; all he can think of is to finish working on.Another Wedding
episode S4.E21 may 1993The crew is invited to the wedding of the air traffic controller.Date Package Number Seven
episode S4.E22 may 1993Alex finally agrees to a date with Brian, only to find out later it was all a setup.Stop in the Name of Love
episode S5.E1 september 1993Everyone is of course skeptical when Brian announces that his relationship with Alex is special. To try to ensure that their relationship lasts longer than a couple of weeks, they decide not to sleep with one another yet.Terminal Jealousy
episode S5.E2 september 1993Roy meddles in everyone's personal lives, causing problems for everyone.Bye-Bye, Bunny
episode S5.E3 september 1993The gang reluctantly convince Lowell to divorce Bunny. After the papers have been signed, Bunny comes on to Lowell and they start sleeping together. When the gang finds out Bunny has a fiancé in Boston, Faye decides she must tell Lowell.Business or Pleasure
episode S5.E4 october 1993Joe brings a guy to the island whom he hopes will invest in Sandpiper so that Joe can expand the business. But when the guy sees Helen, he asks Joe to fix them up. Joe asks Helen to go out with him and she reluctantly does. It's after that Joe realizes that he used Helen and tries to get her out of it but she's fallen for him.An Affair to Forget
episode S5.E5 october 1993Alex and Brian's plan for a romantic weekend does not go as planned.Black Eye Affair
episode S5.E6 october 1993While trying to create a perfect evening with her boyfriend, Davis, Helen runs into obstacle after obstacle with various friends who assist in aiding with what can only be certain disaster.Joe Blows: Part 1
episode S5.E7 november 1993Episode begins with what appears to be Joe's lifeless body floating in water and we hear his voice telling how he got to this point. It began when a passenger is looking for his briefcase that he left on the plane and was not returned to him. And he demands that Joe locate it. And that's when everyone starts dumping on Joe: Antonio wanting Joe to co-sign for him when he goes to the bank to apply for a loan to buy a new cab, Brian is concerned that his first intimate moment with Alex was not outstanding, Helen concerned about her relationship with her boyfriend, and Fay (who learns that one of her late husbands is being transferred to the same cemetery at which another one of her husbands is buried) asks Joe to keep it from happening. And Roy keeps on playing a radio commercial for his service on tape and Lowell is tinkering with a motorcycle that drives Joe mad. And when a reporter from the newspaper of Joe's alma mater comes to interview him, and brings up the fact that Joe didn't do the things he set out to do. Joe's about to snap.Joe Blows: Part 2
episode S5.E8 november 1993With Joe still gone, everyone is wondering where he is and when will he return, especially Brian who's worried about the business. When Joe's credit card bill arrives, Brian learns he was last in Mustique. So he goes there to try and find him and does. But Joe doesn't want to go back cause he's still having fun. Brian reminds him that the business needs him. Joe then turns control to him. Brian returns and finds himself swamped. And his relationship with Alex suffers. And things get worse when the bank takes the plane.2 Good 2 Be 4 Gotten
episode S5.E9 november 1993Joe's old schoolmate comes to town for a visit. Is everything as it appears?Come Fly with Me
episode S5.E10 december 1993Joe, Brian, Helen, and Lowell take off in search of an adventure.Happy Holidays
episode S5.E11 december 1993Antonio has the Christmas blues and Faye is hosting the children's Christmas party.Ready, Teddy, Go
episode S5.E12 january 1994Davis comes to the island and brings Helen out and invites Joe, Brian, and Alex to come along. They go back to his hotel room and while he goes to freshen up, Helen goes through his luggage and finds a present which she assumes is for her and sees it's something extremely personal. When he tells her that he has something for her, it's not what she saw. So she wonders if he's seeing someone else.Oh Give Me a Home Where the Mathers Don't Roam
episode S5.E13 january 1994Joe and Brian are tired of Lowell, who has been staying with them since Brian sank his boat, bossing them around want him out of the house, so they try to get him to buy his own place. But when they find him staying at the airfield instead of his new place, they learn that Lowell has never been on his own before. But when Roy tells him a "story" about his "brother" whom he never saw after he "left", Lowell decides to give it a shot.The Faygitive
episode S5.E14 january 1994Fay is feeling spooked when friends tell her that someone has been asking questions about her. When a Private Investigator shows up at the airport, she's not sure what to expect. The man who hired the P.I. shows up and tells his story; He was a soldier who went to a USO dance where Fay volunteered, back during the Korean War, who then went off to war owing Fay a dance, and he's finally arrived to get that last dance. Meanwhile, Antonio gets an illegal cable hookup from a friend of Roy.Say Uncle, Carlton
episode S5.E15 february 1994To help pay for his new used cab, Antonio gets a job as a chauffeur for Carlton Blanchard. Things get even worse when Carlton's equally annoying nephew, Lewis, arrives on Nantucket to attend Carlton's banquet.Hey, Nineteen
episode S5.E16 february 1994Joe begins dating a 19 year old girl whom Helen used to babysit.Exclusively Yours
episode S5.E17 february 1994Brian's exclusive commitment to Alex is sorely tested when Joe flies in a group of models for a photo shoot. Meanwhile, Helen's decision to name food items on her menu after the people in the airport doesn't go as well as she would have hoped. Lowell takes forever deciding what he wants to be, but finally suggests "LowellSlaw" and Roy objects to being associated with the Giant Turkey Leg.Moonlighting
episode S5.E18 february 1994To ease Alex's embarrassment over having to take a job as waitress during the off-season, the gang tell their own stories of off-season jobs. Joe flew a star chimpanzee, Fay dressed up as a Giant Lobster, Antonio sold funeral plots and Brian and Helen performed a magic act for Roy's Lodge.Sleepless in Nantucket
episode S5.E19 march 1994Brian and Alex suffer the annoying habits of each other after deciding to move in together.Boys Will Be Girls
episode S5.E20 april 1994Coach Mattay visits the island and resumes belittling Joe and Brian just like he did back when they were in high school. They decide to play a prank on him that gets way out of hand.Roy Crazy
episode S5.E21 april 1994The appearance of Roy's ex-wife Sylvia on Nantucket surprises the gang as much as it delights Roy. Roy hopes for a reconciliation, but after a phone call comes into AeroMass saying that she was only doing it to get even with her cheating ex-husband, Brian reluctantly tells Roy. Roy refuses to believe him at first, but eventually skips out on sleeping with his ex. Meanwhile, Helen tries to fend off a smitten and slightly crazy waiter from the crab house.Long Distance Lament
episode S5.E22 april 1994Davis cancels yet another date, so Helen decides to go out with another man. When Joe's date with Sandra suddenly comes into conflict with his date with Joy, Joe decides to lie his way out of his date with Sandra. Joe's lies come back to bite him, as Joy cancels on him. Davis shows up on the island after all, only to find out Helen is out with another man. So he treats Joe to a night out at the Club Car, where Helen and her date show up, followed quickly by Sandra. Joe ends up busted while Davis and Helen go elsewhere to reconcile.Call of the Wild
episode S5.E23 may 1994When Brian's old friend Danny arrives on the island, the two start reliving their old wild lifestyle, and Alex begins to feel neglected. Things come to a boil when Brian returns from an all night party in New York City. Alex tells him to pack up his stuff and get out of her apartment and Brian's final plea at the end fails. Meanwhile, Lowell is taken advantage of by his childhood idol, Big Strong Man.A Decent Proposal
episode S5.E24 may 1994Davis proposes to Helen and she accepts, re-igniting old feelings between her and Joe.Whose Wife Is It Anyway?
episode S6.E1 september 1994After spending the night with Helen, Joe thinks they're a couple again. But she goes off to see her boyfriend who proposed to her. So Joe goes after her.Twisted Sister
episode S6.E2 september 1994Helen's sister Casey arrives and spoils Joe's dinner plans with Helen.The Shrink
episode S6.E3 october 1994Brian's going to a psychiatrist to deal with his break up with Alex and is grown dependent on him. Joe and Helen see him and he makes a remark that makes them think they're not suitable for each other. And Lowell is looking for his hat.The Spark and How to Get It
episode S6.E4 october 1994After his therapist pronounces him fully recovered from his break-up with Alex, Brian plunges back into the dating world. His efforts at the Club Car yield nothing of interest (despite Antonio's assistance with the "Good Cop, Bad Cop" routine), so he follows the advice of others and starts dating casual friend Joan. That elusive "spark" that is missing from their first three dates finally comes to life when Brian breaks up with her. Meanwhile, Lowell prepares a commencement speech address for his alma mater and Casey has trouble getting a good haircut.The Waxman Cometh
episode S6.E5 october 1994After receiving 20,000 dollars from the family trust fund, Lowell invests the money in an old wax museum. Despite everyone's doubts about it, Lowell renovates the museum, but at the lackluster grand reopening of "Lowell Mather's House O' Wax", he comes to realize it won't be easy. When news comes of a disastrous fire at the museum, Lowell is determined to start again from scratch, but when he realizes that the place is fully insured against fire, he's thankful just to have his money back.Is That a 10 Foot Sandwich or Are You Just Glad to See Me?
episode S6.E6 november 1994Joe and Helen just want some time alone with one and another, but Brian and Casey continually interrupt them. To apologize, Brian and Casey decide to surprise them with an engagement party, but Antonio misinterprets an overheard conversation and believes Brian to be sleeping with Casey. When she hears about it, Helen drags Joe to the party site well before they are expected.All's Fare
episode S6.E7 november 1994Cash-strapped Antonio takes a private job driving for a wealthy real estate developer.Miss Jenkins
episode S6.E8 november 1994Miss Jenkins, the gang's former teacher returns to the island to teach. And the boys had a great crush on her. Brian asks her out and he takes her home and she spends the night. Joe and Helen learn she spent the night. Joe praises Brian till her learns what happened between them. And Roy learns that a guy is dating his mom and wonders why?If It's Not One Thing, It's Your Mother
episode S6.E9 november 1994Helen's mom comes to the island and she's hoping she'll give her money to help with the wedding as she did with Casey. When she arrives, Casey (who hasn't told her mom that her husband left her) pretends that he is out of town. When she gives Helen the check she's shocked at how little it is. At the same time Brian and Lowell compete to see who can eat more of her food. And Antonio clings to her.The Wrong Stuff
episode S6.E10 november 1994Brian tells Joe they need to drum up more business, and suggests that they hire a celebrity spokesman and the man Brian wants him to consider is Ace Galvin, a former astronaut. Brian brings him over to the island and while trying to schmooze him, he goes around like a wild man which makes Joe wonder if he's the right man. But when it comes time for him to sign, they learn that Roy snatched him. Roy spends his time gloating until he learns of his latest antic.Insanity Claus
episode S6.E11 december 1994It's Christmas and everyone has plans: Joe and Helen are going to spend it "together", Casey is going to Boston and sneak into a party, and Antonio is going to "get together" with the woman he's been seeing. Bob, the tower controller, comes to Helen for his usual coffee and jelly donut but Antonio took the last one and Bob freaks out. Antonio tries to offer him another donut but he instead puts a gun on Antonio and demands a jelly donut. While waiting, Bob tells Antonio that things are not good because for one thing his wife is seeing another guy. When Helen makes another donut, Bob comes down but someone eats it. And his wife shows up but it turns out she's the one Antonio has been seeing.She's Baaack
episode S6.E12 january 1995When an old schoolmate comes to the island for a visit, Joe finds himself in wedding hell doing the Hokey-Pokey.Have I Got a Couple for You
episode S6.E13 january 1995With nothing to do one Saturday night, Joe and Helen start socializing with a new couple on the island, the Tuckers. Joe and Helen's initial trepidation is soon forgotten in all the fun, but the Tuckers quickly tire of their needy counterparts. Joe and Helen soon find themselves dumped and looking for a new couple. Meanwhile, Brian and Casey start hitting the singles hangouts together and Antonio becomes Lowell's "hands" when Lowell injures his working on the cab.Fools Russian
episode S6.E14 january 1995When Roy flies in a mail-order bride from Russia, Helen tries to convince Roy and Anya that this marriage should never be, but both ignore her. Anya's resolve is weakened with a chance encounter with another man, and the sight of her weeping just moments before their wedding convinces Roy to free her from his commitments to him. Meanwhile, Fay convinces Lowell to pretend to be her lover to impress her soon to be arriving friends, but Lowell insists on cramming and it finally gets to Fay who calls the whole thing off just moments before they are to arrive.Let's Call the Whole Thing Off
episode S6.E15 february 1995Struggling to agree on wedding plans, Joe and Helen decide to crash another couple's wedding to check out a place. Unfortunately, their fighting infects the newlyweds. Later at the airport, seeing the newlyweds about to take separate honeymoons, Joe and Helen try to right their wrongs and bring the newlyweds back together. Joe and Helen's efforts cause them to see that their wedding plan disagreements are not indicative of the marriage to be, but the two newlyweds are only convinced to get an annulment. Meanwhile, Lowell and Antonio train for a Polar Bears competition.Remembrance of Flings Past: Part 1
episode S6.E16 february 1995Past friends and flings return to Nantucket's Sconset High School for a reunion, but someone from the past has a big bombshell that could affect everyone.Remembrance of Flings Past: Part 2
episode S6.E17 february 1995Joe finds out some very important news that he's been waiting for. Lowell rethinks his profession and Antonio tries to work up the courage to finally tell Casey his true feelings.Gone But Not Faygotten
episode S6.E18 february 1995Faye decides it is time to retire.Ex, Lies and Videotape
episode S6.E19 february 1995Brian is asked to appear on a talk show supposedly because he's a hunky guy and he asks everyone to go. And when the show starts he learns that he was tricked to go on the show because they're there to talk about guys who use women and dump them, something he denies until the host reveals the other guest, Brian's ex, Alex. And she goes on about how things were fine between them till they decided to make a commitment which he backed out of. After the show, Alex goes to the island and hashes things out with Brian which ends with them hooking up. And now Brian wants to end it.Portrait of the Con Artist as a Young Man
episode S6.E20 march 1995Casey discovers Lowell has artistic talents and tries to exploit him. Brian accidentally sends a picture of his penis to Helen's mom.The Love Life and Times of Joe and Helen
episode S6.E21 april 1995Brian creates a videotape wedding gift for Joe and Helen, including all the times they spent together.A House to Die For
episode S6.E22 may 1995Carlton's ill health becomes a boon to the gang when Carlton's nephew Lewis invites them over to Carlton's house to start selling off the old man's items. Joe and Helen have an eye for the house itself, Brian drools over a classic muscle car, and Roy looks for furniture. But all is for naught as Carlton's health makes a swift turnaround and, as the doctor sees it, it was hearing all the voices of all the people who came to see him that pulled him through.Nuptials Off
episode S6.E23 may 1995With their wedding approaching, Joe tells Helen she's not doing her part like getting their marriage license. She goes to get it and learns that she and Antonio whom she married so that he wouldn't get deported are still married. It seems that someone forgot to submit the divorce papers and that someone is Helen. Now if she files now it will take a month or two for it to be processed and the wedding is a few weeks away. So she turns to Roy who advises her to go to Mexico to get a quickie divorce. She first tries to get Joe out of town so he doesn't find out. She needs Brian to fly her to Mexico. But Antonio first wants to get the marriage annulled. So she and Helen meet with the priest who tries to convince them to reconcile. But when the plane is damaged they try to get Lowell who sick to fix it. And when Joe's departure is delayed Helen tries to keep him from finding out that the airline is closed for the week end among other things.Et Tu, Antonio?
episode S6.E24 may 1995When Antonio's cousin Dominic and his fiancee Teresa visit Nantucket, Antonio finds himself struggling to ignore his feelings for Teresa. He succumbs to temptation during supper at his apartment, after Teresa voices concerns over problems with her relationship. But he ultimately helps his cousin win Teresa back. Meanwhile, Helen's side of the family outshines Joe's when the wedding gifts start to arrive.Boys Just Wanna Have Fun
episode S6.E25 may 1995Brian throws Joe a bachelor party before his wedding to Helen. Helen thinks it's stupid but let's them do it. But Brian does a bad job at planning it that they end up in a rundown hotel room and the stripper he got is not attractive. While Casey throws Helen a celebration of her own with a male stripper.Here It Is: The Big Wedding
episode S6.E26 may 1995It's Joe and Helen's wedding day. Brian and Casey are suppose to help them: Brian's supposed to get the tuxedos and Casey is supposed to help Helen get ready. But because they hooked up the night before, they get up late and scurry to get their tasks done. Brian gets the wrong tuxedos and Casey is so stressed that she messes up Helen's make-up. When Brian gets the tuxedos, he runs into Casey and they do it again and he throws them into a laundry cart and they're taken away. Antonio, who was hoping to tell Casey how he feels about her, upon learning what happened between her and Brian attacks him and knocks the wedding ring into the toilet. Joe tries to get it but gets stuck.Burnin' Down the House: Part 1
episode S7.E1 september 1995Brian & Casey accidentally burn down Joe's house. Helen and Joe spend their honeymoon making love.Burnin' Down the House: Part 2
episode S7.E2 september 1995When digging through the rubble of Helen's home, Brian and Casey unearth a suitcase and photograph that had been the Hackett brother's only inheritance from their late father. Brian's attempts to remind Joe of that fails, but Joe later sees a vision of his late father and forgives Brian. Meanwhile, Antonio takes his revenge on Brian and Casey, and Helen takes out her anger on Casey's clothes.Death Becomes Him
episode S7.E3 october 1995A member of a wealthy family hires Joe and Brian to fly to Miami to pick up the remains of the family patriarch, who died there. But because they drank a lot the night before they left, a hungover Joe picks up the wrong casket. So now the right casket must be picked up. Unable to admit their mistake, the viewing remains scheduled to proceed. Brian suggests that Joe be made up to look like the dead man and take his place in the coffin until the dead man's body arrives. While in the coffin, Joe overhears some interesting information about the man and his family.The Person Formerly Known as Lowell
episode S7.E4 october 1995Lowell witnesses a crime, and the perp tries to get him not to testify. The Feds then offer to place Lowell in the Witness Protection Program. But he learns he would no longer be able to see his friends, so he asks Joe what he should do. Joe tries to give him advice but tells him that ultimately it's Lowell's decision.Hooker, Line and Sinker
episode S7.E5 november 1995Joe and Brian arrange a gorgeous date for Antonio.She's Gotta Have It
episode S7.E6 november 1995Helen goes on a buying binge with insurance money from her burned house; Brian and Casey search for something they have in common besides sex. Monkees' Peter Tork has a cameo.So Long, Frank Lloyd Wrong
episode S7.E7 november 1995Joe and Helen hire an architect to build their dream house.When a Man Loves a Donut
episode S7.E8 november 1995Brian's incessant eating affects his work; Joe tells him to get his act together. Helen tells Brian he should attend her overeaters support group meetings; when Brian goes, he reveals why he is eating so much. Antonio buys a pair of expensive shoes that are a little tight; he says he just has to break them in, but it appears his feet will break first. Casey goes to a job interview and pretends to be a fan of the Three Stooges because the interviewer is a Three Stooges fan.The Big Sleep
episode S7.E9 december 1995Helen and Joe argue over details of their new house. Antonio takes his new self-help tapes to an extreme, and Casey's horrible new Nantucket Island slogan all work their way into Joe's dreams.'Twas the Heist Before Christmas
episode S7.E10 december 1995It's Christmas. Joe wants to go on a last-minute Vermont ski trip with Helen, but she wants to throw her planned traditional Christmas party. Joe agrees on the condition they leave for Vermont as soon as the party is over. Brian tells Casey he's bringing a date, informing her because of their relationship. She tells him she's also bringing a date. She later lies, claiming the repulsive Lewis is her date. During the party, Joe learns that snow will shut down travel to Vermont, so he tries to rush the party. Antonio brings gifts for everyone, but they don't reciprocate so he gets irate. When everybody tries to leave, Helen stops them. The partygoers soon discover their wallets are missing, and they accuse each other.Honey, We Broke the Kid
episode S7.E11 january 1996Casey brings a TV star to Nantucket to help publicize the island. Joe and Helen take care of their friend's child to see if they will make good parents.B.S. I Love You
episode S7.E12 january 1996A man shows up who says he's Joe and Brian's grandfather.Sons and Lovers
episode S7.E13 january 1996Roy's son RJ returns to the island to attend his dad's birthday party after a 5-year separation.Bye George
episode S7.E14 january 1996Lyle, a man Fay met while on vacation comes to the island to court her. He proposes to her and they were in the process of getting married when the minister utters his full name. That's when Fay freaks out, because he has the same name as her other dead husbands. She then goes to Joe who is nursing a cold to ask him what she should do.The Team Player
episode S7.E15 february 1996Joe and Brian decide to go to a hockey game in Boston. They ask Antonio to man the counter. He gives the last seat to an old woman. And then a guy who says he was booked to go on the flight arrives. But because he was late Antonio gave away the last seat. He says that he will regret it. Joe and Brian return and say the game was disappointing because the star player wasn't there. And Antonio tells them about the guy and they learn it was the hockey player. He later goes on the air and blames Sandpiper for missing the game. And that's when they're the most hated people on the planet.Love at First Flight
episode S7.E16 february 1996In the air on Valentine's Day, Brian and a passenger fall madly in love with each other. On the ground, Roy has a date with Antonio's former girlfriend - Edna, the big-faced girl.Lynch Party
episode S7.E17 february 1996Helen learns that her ex boyfriend Davis has been detained in Asia for over a year and is now on his way back to see her. She then tells Joe to go to Boston to get something. The guys are wondering what's up with Helen. She tells them that she didn't break up with him when she accepted Joe's proposal. She tells them that on the night she was going to see Davis, Joe proposed to her and she accepted. She told Joe that she has to see him alone but when she sees him, he surprises her with a surprise engagement party. And before she could tell Davis she accepted Joe's proposal he left for Asia. When he arrives she finds it difficult to tell him that she married Joe. And when Joe comes back the guys keep him from seeing Helen with Davis.One Flew Over the Cooper's Nest
episode S7.E18 february 1996When Joe learns that Sandy Cooper (the woman he says is obsessed with him) is coming, he freaks out. Helen thinks he's out of his mind. And when she arrives, she's there for Brian. Joe goes on about how demented she is, Helen takes him to a therapist. But during one of his sessions Sandy shows up claiming to be his wife.Driving Mr. DeCarlo
episode S7.E19 march 1996Antonio thinks his fortunes have taken a turn for the better, when one of his passengers hires him to a be his personal chauffeur. But some overheard conversations seem to indicate that his new boss is a mobster (he's actually a diamond broker). Meanwhile, Helen hurriedly reads "Don Quixote" when her old english lit teacher from highschool drops by for a visit.A Tale of Two Sister Cities
episode S7.E20 march 1996Casey learns her job with the Tourism Board is hanging by a thread. But her boss informs her that he's going to give one of her ideas the go ahead and that is to get Nantucket a sister city. She finds one and the head, a Prince is coming with his wife to make it official. One of Brian's passengers, a woman comes on to him. The next day the Prince arrives and meets Casey. She asks where's the Princess and he says she came in the day before. When she arrives at the airfield to meet the Prince, Brian says she's the one he hooked up with. He then tells Casey about it and that he won't attend the party which he was suppose to go with Casey. But the princess insists he come. So Casey tries to make sure nothing happens till the bond between them is finalized. And Joe is bothered when guys flirt with Helen and she doesn't discourage it.What About Larry?
episode S7.E21 april 1996Helen and Joe hire a contractor to build their new house. Meanwhile, Brian stalks George Kennedy.The Lady Vanishes
episode S7.E22 april 1996After a chance encounter, Antonio searches for the girl he shared a moment with in the airport. He enlists everyone's help to try to find her. Brian and Helen size up women at the ticket counters for emotional baggage that they might carry.Life Could Be a Dream
episode S7.E23 april 1996Joe finds the time capsule, he, Brian, Helen and Casey buried when they were kids. Inside are letters that they wrote what they thought they would be in the future. So they each read their letter, Joe thought he would be baseball star, Brian thought he would be a spy, Casey thought she would be a supermodel. And they thought Helen would still be the fat girl And Helen is a musician.The Lyin' King
episode S7.E24 may 1996Joe and Brian learn that a woman whom they know who's an exotic dancer will be performing for the last time. They decide to attend her last performance, but Joe deceives Helen about the true nature of the trip. When Helen asks Joe where he is going, he tells her he is off to a retirement home to do volunteer work, hoping he'll be able to look Helen in the eye when he returns home.Love Overboard
episode S7.E25 may 1996When Casey discovers where her wayward husband is, she goes after him to get back what he ran off with. Only, when she finds him, he claims he lost everything.Grouses, Houses, and Bickering Spouses
episode S7.E26 may 1996Joe and Helen need to sell their jinxed lot so they can buy their dream home.Porno for Pyros
episode S8.E1 september 1996After Joe and Helen accidentally burn down Brian's house, Brian gets excited over the thought of a big insurance check. The insurance company sends an investigator because they don't believe the couples could accidentally burn each other houses down during sex. Antonio develops a crush on the investigator and follows her around like a puppy dog. Everyone is questioned and, as expected, make themselves look guilty....Like a Neighbor Scorned
episode S8.E2 september 1996Joe and Helen take an immediate liking to their new neighbors--then quickly change their minds. Antonio thinks his late uncle had an affair with movie star Gina Lollobrigida.Maybe It's You
episode S8.E3 october 1996Brian's vow to find deeper relationships is tested by beautiful but dumb Dani. Joe tries to deal with his best friend's not inviting him to a wedding.Single and Hating It
episode S8.E4 october 1996The whole gang end up at a singles mixer together.Too Beautiful for You
episode S8.E5 october 1996Antonio works a suicide hotline one night and finds himself on a date with a depressed caller. When she turns out to be gorgeous he wonders how long until he gets dumped. Helen has to compete with a sandwhich vendor cart.The Gift of Life
episode S8.E6 october 1996It's Halloween and everybody wants to enjoy it and go to parties. A guy shows up and buys a ticket. Joe and Brian don't want to fly him because they have plans. The guy gets a call from his wife, who had earlier dumped him. He says that he's a medical courier and he is carrying the gift of life. Joe and Brian convince him to go to his wife and he leaves his cooler behind. They look inside and see a canister that says Nelson's heart. They assume it's a heart for a transplant. So they try to find out where it goes.Olive or Twist
episode S8.E7 november 1996Casey encourages Brian to use his insurance money to open a martini bar. Things go awry when the first customer through the door slips and falls. Brian's problems are compounded when he learns Casey never got insurance. Roy and Faye hunt for ET's.Wingless: Part 1
episode S8.E8 november 1996The Sandpiper airplane gets repossessed, forcing Joe and Brian to sell the airline.Wingless: Part 2
episode S8.E9 november 1996Cord's first act as the new President of Sandpiper is to hold a meeting, informing everyone they need a "big idea". Joe tries to get everyone to see there is no "Big Idea". But it turns out there is. Little does Roy know that he would be responsible for the "Big Idea", mentioning to Cord that the charter business is the one he hasn't been able to crack. So after contacting friend of his in the music business, the "Big Idea" pays off when Sandpiper becomes the charter for the singing sensation the Todds (a TV version of the Judds), that is until a feud breaks out and the tour is canceled.Wingless: Part 3
episode S8.E10 december 1996When Cord chickens out on delivering a presentation before his father's board of directors, Joe and Brian must deliver it. Meanwhile, hanging out in the men's room, Helen's learns a nasty secret: Cord was expected to fail at Sandpiper for the tax write-off.All About Christmas Eve
episode S8.E11 december 1996Another odd Christmas falls on Nantucket, as Antonio drives a nun around in search of a vision she saw in a dream. Meanwhile Joe plays reluctant host to feuding brothers Lou and Harry, and a little last-minute shopping ends up trapping Fay, Helen, and Casey.Let's Talk About Sex
episode S8.E12 january 1997Joe and Helen get blind-sided on TV by Roy's new girlfriend, Mary Pat.Hosed
episode S8.E13 january 1997Joe gets shaken down by the door-to-door salesman.Just Call Me Angel
episode S8.E14 february 1997Brian becomes a hero when he has to land a jumbo-jet while returning home from a trip to Las Vegas. He doesn't handle the resulting fame very well.Fay There, Georgy Girl
episode S8.E15 february 1997When Fay sells the things of her dead husbands, they haunt her.Escape from New York
episode S8.E16 february 1997Brian and Helen's trip to New York to see "Rent" turns into a nightmare when the theatre refuses to transfer the tickets from Helen's benefactor to her. A con-man robs them of their money, Helen is forced to compete in a drag queen contest. A bad back leaves Joe in the house alone with a talkative Antonio.House of Blues
episode S8.E17 march 1997Kicked out by Joe and Helen, Brian and Casey move into a new home with the help of a new roommate Antonio who actually lives with his girlfriend. Things suddenly become crowded when Antonio is dumped and has to move back home. Joe and Helen's nudism has them threatened with blackmail when the neighbor kids snap photos of them.Ms. Write
episode S8.E18 march 1997Brian becomes enamored with a lady writing letters to a lover.Dreamgirl
episode S8.E19 april 1997The brothers hire Shannon, a beautiful temp, to fill in for vacationing Fay. Brian is very attracted to her and has to keep running into Helen's freezer to keep from making a fool of himself.Heartache Tonight
episode S8.E20 april 1997Brian and Casey are ill. Joe and Helen visit Roy's house and meet Roy's mother, Eleanor.Oedipus Wrecks
episode S8.E21 may 1997Casey dates a younger man while Brian dates the younger man's mother. In the meantime, Joe and Roy face their fear of circuses.Raging Bull*&@!
episode S8.E22 may 1997Joe and Brian go up against each other in a boxing match.Final Approach: Part 1
episode S8.E23 may 1997Joe makes a music room in the attic for Helen. He moves a piece of luggage out for Brian, who discovers a secret note from their deceased father and key for a lock box. The duo set out on another finder's keepers quest, just like they did eight years earlier. They enlist Faye, Antonio and Casey on their quest, which takes them to Boston, New York, and eventually back to Nantucket, only to find another suitcase in the airport locker, right next to the one from eight years before. Helen plays for another symphony and gets turned down again.Final Approach: Part 2
episode S8.E24 may 1997This time the suitcase actually contains money - a lot of money. Brian and Joe fight over what to do with the money, Joe always practical, Brian always impulsive, and go their separate ways. This leaves Fay wondering if she will still have a job, but instead Joe offers her 5% of the company for her loyalty. Helen hears back from the conductor in her interview and is invited to study with him in Vienna, but Joe doesn't want to leave Sandpiper. But when he learns of Helen's amazing opportunity he makes the ultimate sacrifice and finally actually agrees to sell Sandpiper to Roy, to go with her to Vienna. Brian readies for his departure to Bali, with Casey clinging at his heels, and readily signs for the sale, but after Joe signs Brian comes back and rips the contract. He tells Joe he will run Sandpiper for one year, and then Joe has to come back. This is of course much to the dismay of Casey, who has told off everyone on the island and quit her job. Joe and Helen leave, and Sandpiper goes on. But sadly not Wings.
- Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places
- Is That a Subpoena in Your Pocket...?
- The Taming of the Shrew
- I Ain't Got No Bunny
- If Elected, I Will Not Live
- My Brother's Keeper
- Crate Expectations
- Ladies Who Lunch
- Try to Remember the Night He Dismembered
- The Late Mrs. Biggins
- The Bogey Men
- Marriage, Italian Style
- Divorce, American Style
- Stew in a Stew
- This Old House
- Planes, Trains and Visiting Cranes
- Das Plane
- Take My Life, Please
- Four Dates That Will Live in Infamy
- The Bank Dick
- Say It Ain't So, Joe
- As Fate Would Have It
- Lifeboat
- The Fortune Cookie
- Noses Off
- Blackout Buggins
- Mathers of the Heart
- Two Jerks and a Jill
- It's So Nice to Have a Mather Around the House
- Just Say No
- It May Have Happened One Night
- The Customer's Usually Right
- Exit Laughing
- What the Cabbie Saw
- Labor Pains
- I've Got a Secret
- The Gift: Part 1
- The Gift: Part 2
- I Love Brian
- The Key to Alex
- The Houseguest
- Goodbye, Old Friend
- Another Wedding
- Date Package Number Seven
- Stop in the Name of Love
- Terminal Jealousy
- Bye-Bye, Bunny
- Business or Pleasure
- An Affair to Forget
- Black Eye Affair
- Joe Blows: Part 1
- Joe Blows: Part 2
- 2 Good 2 Be 4 Gotten
- Come Fly with Me
- Happy Holidays
- Ready, Teddy, Go
- Oh Give Me a Home Where the Mathers Don't Roam
- The Faygitive
- Say Uncle, Carlton
- Hey, Nineteen
- Exclusively Yours
- Moonlighting
- Sleepless in Nantucket
- Boys Will Be Girls
- Roy Crazy
- Long Distance Lament
- Call of the Wild
- A Decent Proposal
- Whose Wife Is It Anyway?
- Twisted Sister
- The Shrink
- The Spark and How to Get It
- The Waxman Cometh
- Is That a 10 Foot Sandwich or Are You Just Glad to See Me?
- All's Fare
- Miss Jenkins
- If It's Not One Thing, It's Your Mother
- The Wrong Stuff
- Insanity Claus
- She's Baaack
- Have I Got a Couple for You
- Fools Russian
- Let's Call the Whole Thing Off
- Remembrance of Flings Past: Part 1
- Remembrance of Flings Past: Part 2
- Gone But Not Faygotten
- Ex, Lies and Videotape
- Portrait of the Con Artist as a Young Man
- The Love Life and Times of Joe and Helen
- A House to Die For
- Nuptials Off
- Et Tu, Antonio?
- Boys Just Wanna Have Fun
- Here It Is: The Big Wedding
- Burnin' Down the House: Part 1
- Burnin' Down the House: Part 2
- Death Becomes Him
- The Person Formerly Known as Lowell
- Hooker, Line and Sinker
- She's Gotta Have It
- So Long, Frank Lloyd Wrong
- When a Man Loves a Donut
- The Big Sleep
- 'Twas the Heist Before Christmas
- Honey, We Broke the Kid
- B.S. I Love You
- Sons and Lovers
- Bye George
- The Team Player
- Love at First Flight
- Lynch Party
- One Flew Over the Cooper's Nest
- Driving Mr. DeCarlo
- A Tale of Two Sister Cities
- What About Larry?
- The Lady Vanishes
- Life Could Be a Dream
- The Lyin' King
- Love Overboard
- Grouses, Houses, and Bickering Spouses
- Porno for Pyros
- ...Like a Neighbor Scorned
- Maybe It's You
- Single and Hating It
- Too Beautiful for You
- The Gift of Life
- Olive or Twist
- Wingless: Part 1
- Wingless: Part 2
- Wingless: Part 3
- All About Christmas Eve
- Let's Talk About Sex
- Hosed
- Just Call Me Angel
- Fay There, Georgy Girl
- Escape from New York
- House of Blues
- Ms. Write
- Dreamgirl
- Heartache Tonight
- Oedipus Wrecks
- Raging Bull*&@!
- Final Approach: Part 1
- Final Approach: Part 2
Best moments10
- Joe and Brian decide to go to a hockey game in Boston. They ask Antonio to man the counter. He gives the last seat to an old woman. And then a guy who says he was booked to go on the flight arrives. But because he was late Antonio gave away the last seat. He says that he will regret it. Joe and Brian return and say the game was disappointing because the star player wasn't there. And Antonio tells them about the guy and they learn it was the hockey player. He later goes on the air and blames Sandpiper for missing the game. And that's when they're the most hated people on the planet.
- After a chance encounter, Antonio searches for the girl he shared a moment with in the airport. He enlists everyone's help to try to find her. Brian and Helen size up women at the ticket counters for emotional baggage that they might carry.
- Antonio thinks his fortunes have taken a turn for the better, when one of his passengers hires him to a be his personal chauffeur. But some overheard conversations seem to indicate that his new boss is a mobster (he's actually a diamond broker). Meanwhile, Helen hurriedly reads "Don Quixote" when her old english lit teacher from highschool drops by for a visit.
- Joe and Brian arrange a gorgeous date for Antonio.
- Antonio performs his civic duty when he helps bring to court a suspected robber and then testifies against him. But then the suspect gets released on a technicality and Antonio starts to fear for his life.
- Cash-strapped Antonio takes a private job driving for a wealthy real estate developer.
- Antonio works a suicide hotline one night and finds himself on a date with a depressed caller. When she turns out to be gorgeous he wonders how long until he gets dumped. Helen has to compete with a sandwhich vendor cart.
- When Antonio's cousin Dominic and his fiancee Teresa visit Nantucket, Antonio finds himself struggling to ignore his feelings for Teresa. He succumbs to temptation during supper at his apartment, after Teresa voices concerns over problems with her relationship. But he ultimately helps his cousin win Teresa back. Meanwhile, Helen's side of the family outshines Joe's when the wedding gifts start to arrive.
- Kicked out by Joe and Helen, Brian and Casey move into a new home with the help of a new roommate Antonio who actually lives with his girlfriend. Things suddenly become crowded when Antonio is dumped and has to move back home. Joe and Helen's nudism has them threatened with blackmail when the neighbor kids snap photos of them.
- Antonio has the Christmas blues and Faye is hosting the children's Christmas party.
- The Team Player
- The Lady Vanishes
- Driving Mr. DeCarlo
- Hooker, Line and Sinker
- What the Cabbie Saw
- All's Fare
- Too Beautiful for You
- Et Tu, Antonio?
- House of Blues
- Happy Holidays