Eric suddenly decides to celebrate his and Annie's 19th anniversary with a vow-renewal ceremony to make up for their spartan wedding; meanwhile, murder-victim's widow Nora Chambers tells him she wants to meet her husband's unrepentant killer Martin; Wilson West has been trying to help Mary all summer, but she only gets ruder and refuses to try to walk without crutches; Simon worries that the attic won't be ready for him to move into before school starts; Matt fights jealousy over Heather's Canadian houseguest; Lucy agonizes over Jimmy Moon dating another girl.

Eric and Annie selfishly expect the kids to start the school year on routine so they can enjoy a lazy day alone together, but ill-prepared means in trouble. Nazi-style principal Russell has plenty of collaborating staff to enforce draconian discipline for 'gang and drug offenses' according to absurd new rules none saw coming, such as Simon's cutlery earning a suspension for 'concealed weapons'. Only Mary is happy with an ex-Olympic new basketball coach Koper, who meanwhile terrorizes Matt because of the beeper his father forgot when he borrowed Matt's jacket. Simon's buddy system only helps against a potential bully. Lucy makes her own life hell while Mary rudely fails to work in new guy Marcus, a natural flirt. The whole school buzzes about Lucy's classmate Peter McKinley's apparent suicide attempt. In fact Eric, called in by the police, discovers it's a desperate cry for help after 13 years of deaf tyranny from his insensitive, clueless single mother.

Simon can't resists reading Matt's letters and thus discovers big brother is secretly married to Heather. Eric can't resist spying on both, and thus falls into a trap. Wilson won't say 'I love you' back to Mary, who refuses to understand he'll only say that again when even more serious then with Billie's late ma. Lucy's friend, new girl at school Laurie, is extremely timid due to her verbally brutal ma, but the scolding root sits deeper.

A 'cool' schoolmate slips Matt a joint, which he politely tucks away in his shirt-pocket but accidentally loses the marijuana at home, where dad finds it dropping from Happy's jaw. Annie stops him from accusing Matt without any proof, so they agree to probe the kids individually, and their guests, even Wilson, who contrasts brilliantly with Lucy's Goth new mate Rod. Hasty hiding the evidence causes a huge misunderstanding. Annie's confession, first to Eric, then to Matt, she once 'experimented' too, backfires. Simon, exhausted from trying to teach Ruthie laundry, is furious when Matt confesses to spare his siblings drug tests. Eric's deaf rage only drives Matt away, and both men near despair, yet providence seems to intervene.

Simon is surprisingly successful with Eric's suggestion to show how mind-games can convince people of crazy ideas by pretending he's shrinking; when he's overheard, Matt turns the tables, only to be beaten in the end. Lucy invites her classmate Shelby to dinner, curious about rumors that she suffers from bulimia; Eric lets Mrs. Bing drag him into meddling in her friend Mrs. Hinkle's situation.

Matt gets bad news from his girlfriend, and goes to Philadelphia; Mary calls it quits with Wilson; Ruthie learns a lesson about kissing at school.

Simon (David Gallagher) tries to protect a friend who's being used by his gang-embroiled sister, while Lucy and her girlfriends just want to have fun at the mall

Terminally-ill preteen Steve's overprotective parents keep him constantly in hospital under permanent supervision, and despite Eric's objections, Matt takes a job spending time with him and gives their 'wiser elders' a courageous demonstration in true altruism. Meanwhile,Simon sells cards to save up for his favorite comic-book action figure, and subcontracting to Ruthie yields remarkable results; and bakery-company chief David Friel wants to commercialize Annie's family muffin recipe, and the girls push her to accept as feminist self-evidence, only to share in the bitter experience of self-inflicted job-household overload.

Simon discovers friendly, generous old neighbor Charlotte Kerjesz has a concentration camp tattoo. Eric forbids Simon to ask her to help for a history assignment but realizes his son is right after hearing classmate Larry's father spreads holocaust denial. The Camdens are excited to meet Joanne, Matt's first girl since Heather dumped him. Considering her 'too perfect', jealous Lucy and Mary decoded flippantly to hate and ignore her. Joanne overhears them and dumps Matt over his lousy siblings, which stands even after apologies.

Because Mary is desperate for a date with Matt's classmate Brian, who isn't interested in her, Matt pays him $20 to take her out for pizza. They have a good time--until Mary finds out about the plan. Meanwhile, Simon uses his own coaching method to teach Ruthie swimming in the bathtub to save her from embarrassing baby-class swimming lessons; and Eric finds that he can't fit into his jeans anymore, but when jogging only makes him hungry, he pays Matt to sneak in junk food.

After a failed table-spread trick before the arrival of his new magic kit, the 'Great Simoni' can't convince Ruthie to act as his assistant because she'd rather wear the cape even without aspiring to become a magician; Lucy's grades slip as she starts hanging out with 'the laid-back crowd'; Eric's church is in the running for weekly local TV broadcasts if next Sunday's liturgy goes well, and he obsesses over writing the perfect sermon; Mary considers quitting basketball when Coach Koper is focused on a new star player; while Annie spends a long day running errands, Matt bows out of keeping order at home. After Ruthie answers a phone call from the Colonel and tells him what's going on, he turns up unexpectedly to 'assume domestic command.'

Simon get sort of addicted to golf, which causes trouble for him, Ruthie and various glass within their hitting reach. Matt and Lucy are fed up with Mary's adoration for coach Koper, whom they mistrust and dislike because of his condescending attitude towards English pupil Matt, who nevertheless does well on a James Joyce book-report. Mary sides with him when the siblings cry wolf over a hug but when she suddenly changes her tune after a shoulder massage, even the principal turns on Koper without any proof or actual incident. Eric hounds Lou, who insists the expenses for the nearly unattended Wednesday service can no longer be justified, to see the books. Annie finds $2,500 are missing but by the time the full truth gets known, both must side with 'thief' Lou and his secretly hard-tested family.

Simon and Ruthie's hope to keep the pair of 'pet' lizards a classmate of her offered for free are frustrated. Jimmy Moon has dumped his girl, so Lucy hopes to get him back at last, but 'biker' Rod decides it's time to make his move too. Matt and Mary coach different suitors, while Simon takes betting scores. Eric's group session for couples who married the last year starts bored, but soon unleashes frustrations with all of them. He brings Annie along as 'good example', but her surprise-visiting pa's offer to have them buried alongside him causes frictions in their own marriage.

Matt is as surprised about the sudden stream of calls from girls as his sisters about the cause, a dating ad in the school paper he knew nothing about, yet the editor refuses to retract it. Simon and Ruthie try out a pet products credit-card sent on dog Happy's name. Eric abuses a health crisis of tax official Smith, who is near retirement, to make him rectify an erroneous tax debt transfer.

Even bright teacher's pet Simon is terrified by new bully science teacher Hunter to the point of faking illness to avoid a private meeting with her about his solar system model, which actually is part of a superb presentation. Softie Matt already turned down dates to the party after Mary's return to the basketball team, yet she complains to everyone, even hunky jock ex Richard, who ends up making her day.

The reverends get their spouses to handle the annual two-families-day so they can go play pool. In fact Morgan arranges finally to meet his wife's ex Kevin, who turns out to be a happily remarried Vietnam vet in a wheelchair. As Eric expected, all kids want to do things without any parents, so only the youngest are dragged to a cartoon movie by the moms. Simon is excited about his first 'making out' party, yet terrified when it's time to step into the closet and probably kiss. Scott is 14 but looks 18 and tutors Lucy maths just so he can successfully treat Mary to a date, only to be kept on a string. Matt is surprised that the jazz club John dragged him to is his mate's singer career bid launchpad, unamused to be asked as support against Morgan. Lucy has her own date Rick, but chose the same cinema as Annie.

After Simon's school project volcano is carelessly ruined by brainless Ruthie, it's time for him to move to his own room. He's less happy with the isolated attic he's supposed to go to, but Matt agrees to move there and hand over his room, eager to 'move' to an out of state college anyway. Wilson calls Mary, but only to babysit Billy while he takes his date to her prom. Despite home advice, Mary performs miserably, yet Wilson returns early, having decided he only wants a girl who tells he family about Billy. Lucy desperately recruits enough big sibling support to get permission to go eat in town with two 'cool' sisters. Being driven in their car is forbidden, which turns out to be a life-saver, alas literally, leaving a guilt problem.

French exchange student Guillaume 'Guy' need a host family stat, so Eric volunteers his, without consulting anyone. Only the teenage daughters approve, given the French's lover reputation. That's also why Matt worries and volunteers as chaperone, only to find his date Michelle prefers Paris memories to 'plain' Matt's company. It's worst for Simon, who has to move back with Ruthie so long and gets tempted by her, yet blamed alone, to smoking the cigarettes they 'find' in Guy's luggage. Yet Guy is the first to lose his patience with all those 'stupid Americans'.

Little Sarah James is found wandering on the streets. Warmly welcoming Simon wins her confidence while Eric and a cop friend search and find her pa, Joe, an unrepentant lush and decide a more stable educator is required. Matt meanwhile tiptoes, realizing ma makes a last ditch stand to talk him out of 'moving out' to a Tennessee college, and rudely intruding pest Ruthie first diverts, then scares off his older date Mollie.

Matt is set up on a blind date for the prom, and finds out she is considered the school tramp. Mary and Lucy have dates for the prom but it turns out disastrous.

Matt is edgy, telling only his sibling he found an out of state summer job so he'll leave home in days, not months. Simon finds a brilliant trick to train happy for a TV pet food commercial, but there's a stage-fright complication. Mary rudely scolds Matt, unlike Wilson who leaves diplomatically, for getting physical at home, but her doctor notifies she's pregnant. Lucy cruelly keeps suitors Jimmy and Rod, who both chose Eric as career day model, dangling, but Wilson, who appreciates her help with Billie, arranges a date with Kenny, whom she may really want.

Matt worries now he's about to leave home, as self-absorbed, phone-glued Mary hasn't even got a clue what's happening with their younger siblings, nor is any use for either. Simon is heart-broken when Happy's original family head Jack Martin turns up and returns with a lawyer to claim the dog back. Eric considers his parents's surprise visit awkward and pointless as Matt won't be around to hold his valedictorian speech. The colonel however takes charge of an operation dog rescue inspired by Jimmy and Rod. Those two also undo Lucy's idiotic dumping of Kenny for being 'too perfect to be interested in her' and hold a remarkable church sermon. Matt changes his plans after a call from the colonel, learning about it and Annie's confession that Mary's pregnancy diagnosis got mixed up with her real one.