The Bundys suddenly have another mouth to feed when Peggy's cousin Zemus and his wife Ida Mae leave behind their 6-year-old son Seven after a quick visit. Peggy, the only one little Seven captivates, sees him as her chance to be a "great mother," or at least try.

Kelly's date ditches her, and on her walk home she meets two other women in the same situation and they hatch a revenge plot. Meanwhile, Al and Peggy spend a night in just conversing to find what they have in common.

When Peggy discovers that no one knows Seven's birthday, she picks one at random, Al's. He is understandably not pleased when he has lost his birthday to the new kid. Peggy decides to have a small party for Seven's 6th birthday at a local park. But the party fizzles when a snobbish rich parent arrives and declares the park private for his own son's party.

When Peggy uses up the monthly mortgage to pay Seven's doctor bill, Al is forced to take a second job bar-tending at a topless bar, but its a male strip club where the bartender and all other men are topless. Al enjoys his job, but when Jefferson covers for Al for one day, he takes Al's job. Meanwhile, Peggy starts banning Kelly and Bud from the house to protect Seven from their germs.

The way to a man's heart may be through his stomach, but it's not the heart that's sought by Peggy who's tired of being ignored by Al in the bedroom. So she tries a variety of exciting new outfits in an attempt to whet the appetite of a starving Al. But the only thing Al wants is a cooked steak for dinner.

To meet girls, Bud starts his own community college fraternity, "Alpha Gonna Get'Em," with Hindu convenience store clerk Achmed, geek Francis, and retiree Gus as charter (sole) members. But the first toga party, in the Bundy garage, lacks fun and women.

Al decides that another Bundy must get a job and the ax falls on Kelly. This breaks Peggy's heart since no Wanker woman has ever worked before. After taking a job at a greasy spoon diner, Kelly must experience the wonderful world of waitressing prior to her true calling as Kelly Bundy: Philosopher/Waitress.

When his paycheck is taken by bill collectors, Al decides to do something with his non-life: he enters a shoe selling contest and wins. The prize is a first class ticket to Hawaii which the family turns into four stand-by's. After dumping Seven off with the D'Arcys, the Bundys travel to Chicago's O'Hare Airport where in an surprising twist, Al masquerades as an aging rock star, named 'Axl Bundy' from the group 'Shoes N' Socks' in which they hob-nob into the first class lounge with six famous musicians, Richie Havens, Spencer Davis, John Sebastian, Robby Krieger, Peter Noone, and Mark Lindsay.

Thanks to a college grant of $25,000, Bud is ready to leave home and start the good life at college, until Al and Peggy discover the money. Being the selfish petty criminals they are, they grant the money for themselves, and go on a wild spending spree in just one day that leaves Bud with zero.

In the company of his peers at a bar with other Santas, mall Santa Al recalls Christmases past when he managed to avoid buying gifts for Peggy, Kelly, and Bud by turning them against one other (shown in a pseudo-flashback to 1974). But this year the family shows a united front and give Al the gift of a list of job he must take to get Christmas-gift money. One of the jobs is playing Santa at the mall, which becomes another opportunity for Marcy and Jefferson to taunt and browbeat Al.

It's no vacation for Al when Peggy and Marcy join him on his winter fishing trip and make him referee to their constant bickering. Meanwhile, Kelly, Bud, and Seven, left behind with no food or money, help Jefferson spend all of Marcy's money.

Peggy narrates her own pirate fantasy to Seven as a bedtime story. In the story, Peggy plays Princess Scarlett. Al is Captain Courage, her pirate captor and Jefferson is Prince Paco, her savior. Rounding out the cast is Bud playing the hunchback first mate Fluvio; Kelly as the dim-witted ship's navigator; Marcy playing the cabin boy/girl; and in a surprise appearance, Marcy's ex-husband Steve Rhoades playing the villainous Rubio the Cruel, who's feared for his terrible singing of show tunes.

The Bundys suddenly have another mouth to feed when Peggy's cousin Zemus and his wife Ida Mae leave behind their 6-year-old son Seven after a quick visit. Peggy, the only one little Seven captivates, sees him as her chance to be a "great mother," or at least try.

When Peggy discovers that no one knows Seven's birthday, she picks one at random, Al's. He is understandably not pleased when he has lost his birthday to the new kid. Peggy decides to have a small party for Seven's 6th birthday at a local park. But the party fizzles when a snobbish rich parent arrives and declares the park private for his own son's party.