Buck the dog dies; in Heaven, he is sent back to Earth as the Bundys' new dog, Lucky.

Al and his men's group NO MA'AM decide to form their own church in order to avoid paying beer tax. When Marcy and her women's group FANG expose Al's plan to the public, NO MA'AM surprisingly receives sympathy and donations from thousands of long-suffering married men in America which makes it possible for them to open their church. Al becomes a televangelist and preaches the NO MA'AM way of life.

Kelly has unknowingly created a new color chemical called Bleen and Al quickly finds out that she has created a new formula that grows hair.

Peggy takes up a self-defense class. What's worse, she is soon promoted to the advanced class. This makes Al feel emasculated. To make Peg drop the self-defense class, Kelly suggests Al take Peg out on a romantic date to see the Director's Cut of The Bridges of Madison Country.

Bud takes on wrestler King Kong Bundy as his initiation into "No Ma'am.

Marcy organizes a "Toys for guns" campaign to get kids something else to play with than toy guns. Kelly has a post-graduation five-year reunion and is shocked to learn that the nerd she once stood up has become handsome and rich.

Al and Jefferson go away for the weekend to a fishing lake in upstate Wisconsin. But when they arrive at the fishing lodge, they are rudely told to leave when Shannon Tweed, a famous B-movie actress and former Playboy Playmate, has taken their reservation. But when the guys arrive home, they discover that Jefferson had inadvertently snapped a photo of Shannon seducing the lodge owner in a hot tub as the reason why they were kicked off the property. As payback, Al and Jefferson decide to throw a tabloids auction to see which magazine will get the photo. Meanwhile, Bud casts Lucky the Dog in a dog food commercial, but Lucky will only act unless Kelly performs the scene first.

Marcy's bank, Kyoto National, plans to donate a new scoreboard to Polk High and name it after Polk High's famous football alumni. Al, having scored four touchdowns in a single game, assumes it's him, but Marcy hates Al and is determined to find another football star just to spite him. When she learns that NFL all-star Terry Bradshaw attended Polk High for two months, she think she has found her man. While Kelly tries to talk to Bradshaw about letting Al have the title, Al, Jefferson, and Bud conspire to destroy the scoreboard.

Al and Bud go on a bear hunt in the woods to prove they're as manly as Peggy's father, Ephraim, so he can take back Peggy's unseen mother. Al and Bud bring back what they think is a dead bear they found in the woods, but they are in for a big surprise when the bear wakes up from hibernation and wreaks havoc on them and the city.

To go out with hot guy named Carlos, Kelly bribes the reluctant Bud to keep company for Carlos's cousin Esmeralda by offering Bud a date with Fawn. Fortunately for Bud, Esmeralda turns out to be quite hot. Meanwhile, Al and Peg take Ephraim and Peggy's unseen mother to a marriage retreat.

During the Christmas season, Griff becomes quite fond of a phone sex partner named "Butter," whom Al discovers is really Peg's mother.

Al buys a satellite dish from a discount store and he and Jefferson insist on installing it themselves. Bud is turned down for a loan at every bank in Chicago and borrows money from Vito, a mobster. He uses the money to finance an exercise video staring Kelly and a Latino hunk named Rafael. But, Kelly and Rafael get into a fight over who will star in the video, prompting them to storm off to their dressing rooms. Meanwhile, Bud learns that Vito is dangerous and needs the video completed on time.

Vito's hatchet man, Gino, tells Bud that he has until 5:00pm to finish the exercise video or he will be sleeping with the fishes. Kelly and Rafael's continuing arguments over which one of them will star in the video has Bud sweating. But things take an unexpected turn when Bud unwittingly videotapes Gino talking to another mob associate incriminating evidence against Vito. Meanwhile, Peggy, Marcy, and their friends think that their husbands are totally useless as they count the number of times they fall off the roof trying to install the satellite dish. But Al, Jefferson, Griff, Officer Dan, Ike, and Bob Rooney have completed the dish and set up a comfortable safe haven for them on the roof.

Al wants to beat rival shoe-shop owner Babcock in something and puts his faith in Bud, who's in the same entrepreneurial-studies class at Trumaine as Babcock's son Little Floyd. Each boy must come up with a product and a marketing campaign for it Al sees that he'll get his revenge if Bud's project gets a better grade than Little Floyd's. When Kelly brings home a sexy-guys calendar, Bud decides to make a Girls of Trumaine calendar. All goes well, especially with stunning cover girl Crystal Clark--until, sounding very troubled, she has second thoughts about appearing in the calendar. Meanwhile, Peg is on the road searching for her dad to save her parents' marriage.

It is Marcy and Jefferson's wedding anniversary, but Jefferson is in the hospital, recovering from a physical trauma. Kelly and Bud visit Jefferson and he recounts the events that led to his being hospitalized, starting with the party that the other members of No Ma'am threw at him in the nude bar.

Bud and his three "frat bros," Hindu Achmed, fatso Hummer, and nerdy Barney, are set to leave for Spring Break in Fort Lauderdale in hopes of scoring some drunken babes. They have the tickets and the hotel reservation. That is, until Kelly, the naughty Fawn, the steamy Ashley, and the nerdy (but minus the headgear) Natalie, make them believe that they want to spend Spring Break with Bud and his pals. The girls say that in order to cheat on their boyfriends with Bud and his pals they need the tickets and reservation in order to "send away the boyfriends" and the con succeeds. Meanwhile, Al and Griff sell a lot of shoes for girls leaving for Spring Break and wish they also could go, leaving them in a cold and powerless shoe store during a city-wide blackout resulting from a blizzard. Jefferson arrives and lets it slip that he's going to Fort Lauderdale to act as a judge in a beauty contest, behind Marcy's back, of course. Al and Griff then realize they can spend the money to go to Fort Lauderdale. Marcy arrives at the Bundys to find the boys still waiting for the girls to arrive. Together, they witness the girls, as well as Al, Griff, and Jefferson on TV at Fort Lauderdale. Marcy and the boys decide to go after them to get revenge.

Al, Jefferson, and Griff are having the time of their lives at Fort Lauderdale; Al even finds a new way to earn money by collecting empty cans. The girls are prepping Kelly for the beauty competition. Meanwhile, Marcy and the boys experience some car problems on the way from Chicago to Fort Lauderdale and have to bow to the demands of a purvey Tennessee car mechanic in order to get new wheels. The girls bump into Al and his pals at their hotel suite during a party. Al doesn't want Kelly to take part in some sleazy contest...that is until he learns that the prize is $100,000.

Marcy is up for a promotion, but to get promoted, she needs to impress her Japanese boss, Mr. Shimokawa, by serving him dinner and presenting him her grateful neighbors, the Japanese Bundys. Of course, she needs to bribe the real Bundys to stay out of sight for the duration of the visit. However, it just happens that Mr. Shimokawa hears the sound of Al's Dodge 1971, a car missing from his collection. To ensure her promotion, Marcy needs the car for Mr. Shimokawa. But what will it take to get Al to give up his car?

Al decides to build a dog house for Lucky. But when he makes an absurd amount of noise in the back yard, Marcy bribes a building inspector to inspect Al's work just to harass him. When the inspector tells him that the house is not up to its "code," Al, with Kelly's wealthy boyfriend Carlos, tear it down and rebuild it again and again to get it right. Meanwhile, Kelly desperately tries to get Carlos's attention. She spends a lot of Al's money (which he swindles from Carlos) to go to the salon to achieve the natural look of the women of his village. Thus, she is spending a lot of money to look like she has spent no money on her looks. Bud says, "you are your mother's daughter." Kelly says, "Well, duh..." Carlos has spent a lot of money to come to America to get away from women of his village. Al ends up with a lot of Carlos's money.

In this pilot for a proposed TV series, a group of "friends" live in a sometimes peaceful co-existence. Tom is a handsome deliveryman living with his gorgeous girlfriend Shannon, his stepsister Maria, and their lazy friend Jackson. Tom is on the rocks with Shannon again over their flirtations with other people. When Tom meets Kelly Bundy while delivering a package to the Bundy house, he asks her out for the evening. To make Tom jealous, Shannon asks out a handsome millionaire named Henry and the four of them end up at the local greasy-spoon diner in the inner city, which is run by friendly cook George. The evening gets more X-rated when Tom and Shannon try to outdo each other with their dates.

Bud has invited not-too-bright student Ariel to play the "Strip Study" game, to prepare for upcoming exams he has to pass in order to graduate. Despite years of not ending up getting some, Bud gets lucky but falls asleep and realizes that in order to be able to concentrate on studying, he has to give up everything that reminds him of sex. This proves to be quite difficult. In order to find a place where nothing turns him on, Bud goes to the library. Surely he can forget about sex there?

Marcy will not let Jefferson back in the house until he finds a job, so he hangs around at the Bundys. Bud gets Kelly a part in a Romantic Roast coffee commercial and when Kelly's co-star fails to perform up to expectations, Bud gets Jefferson the part. Jefferson's character Lance wins him legions of female fans which upsets Marcy but also ensures that two more commercials will be made with Kelly and Jefferson. But how will Al react when the script demands that Kelly and Jefferson kiss?

There's a radio contest open to all (except Al), where the winner will get to carry the Olympic torch through the city. Griff wins it and becomes a local hero.

While Griff faces the death penalty due to a NO MA'AM prank, Al plans to get married to an old flame.

Bud has discovered that Ariel gets turned on by life-threatening situations and has decided to stage a fake tornado in order to get some from Ariel while they seek shelter in the Bundys' basement. Peg confirms that danger does in deed turn women on. However, a real twister appears in Chicago and the rest of the Bundys and the Jeffersons also have to seek shelter in the Bundys' basement. Which also means that Peg and Marcy get turned on...

Gary declares a sales contest between Al and Griff - the winner gets a raise. However, an appearance of an immigrant child who works in Gary's illegal sweatshop gives Al a better idea than selling shoes.

In order to get a $20,000 contract of a model for a national olive oil brand, Kelly has to sign a Morals Clause, which requires that she remain chaste. This proves to be a difficult task. Meanwhile, Al hears that Officer Dan is appearing in Al's favorite TV show, Cops, and blackmails him to become his partner.

Al's beloved Dodge is fading away. Through a frantic "emergency operation," Al manages to "stabilize" the Dodge's condition, but it still needs constant "life support". He is unwilling to let the Dodge go because he has fond memories of his father and the car, so he calls for a car doctor, who sees that the Dodge needs a fuel pump "transplant". Since those fuel pumps are a rarity, the doctor suggests that the car be "harvested" for spare parts instead, which would sell for a high price. This, of course, is completely unacceptable to Al. While he fights to keep the Dodge "alive" and looks for a new fuel pump, Peg and the kids already start auctioning the spare parts.

Al buries his "dead" Dodge in his backyard and has a funeral ceremony for it. The collectors still desire the spare parts and Peg still intends to sell them. At Bud's request, Marcy goes through Al's financial records and declares that Al can't afford a new car. Al decides to prove her wrong and goes to a car dealer. Meanwhile, Jefferson's secret past helps him to locate a fuel pump for Al's old Dodge.

It's Thanksgiving. In Al's childhood, it was a tradition to eat aunt Maddie's potato pie on Thanksgiving, so Al takes a trip with Griff to see aunt Maddie in order to buy some pie. Unfortunately it turns out that she's just died. Jefferson can't find a turkey for Marcy because they've sold out. Then a stray turkey just happens to follow Kelly home. Will Kelly let the others eat it?

Peggy wants to take a holiday in Branson, Missouri, but Al says he can't afford it. The prospect of all-fried food and only twin beds available, however, make him change his mind. Lucky has to stay behind in the care of the D'Arcy's. Then Marcy feels the urge to act out a dirty fantasy at the Bundy's. In Branson, the Bundy's get a room at the Deliverance Inn (yes, just like that movie). Peg and Kelly take part in a country music talent contest.

It's Christmas. Al doesn't want a Christmas tree, the rest of the family do. Marcy is determined to win the neighborhood decorating contest. Gary hires two young guys, Hal and Biff, to help Al and Griff at the shoe store. Someone (actually Bud and Kelly) kidnaps Mary and Joseph from Marcy's Nativity Scene and demand $500 in ransom. Hal and Biff turn out to be such good workers that Gary decides to replace Al and Griff with them, permanently.

When Al goes too far with the fat insults, he's put on trial by all the obese women he has insulted over the years.

Al is planning a get-together for the guys and they'll be watching wrestling from cable. Al wants Peg to help, but she declines. Then Peg has an accident where she hits her head and gets amnesia. Kelly, Bud, and Al are then amazed to see Peg cooking, cleaning, and doing other housework. They decide to milk the situation for all it's worth.

When Al finds out that Bud and Gary are dating, he and Griff decide to take advantage of the situation like a break room.

Since Bud is actually earning money, Al starts charging rent for the basement. Bud and Al sign a lease and Bud pays his rent, after which he claims that the "apartment" is in need of repair. A health inspector declares the basement condemned and gives him a month to get the basement repaired. Al then is forced to wear an electronic neck band that prevents him from leaving the basement.

Jefferson has joined the National Guard. He tells Al and Griff of the benefits: for one weekend per month, one gets to party with a bunch of guys and even get paid for it. Of course, you have to pass basic training first, but even that has a benefit. One does not have to go to one's regular job, but the boss still has to pay the salary. Al and Griff suddenly feel the urge to serve their country.

Al agrees to let Peg invite the Darcy's and Griff (plus one) to an evening party in exchange for a month of no sex. As a party game, the pairs test their knowledge of the other half. Unfortunately, Al has forgotten the most romantic night between him and Peg, who throws him out to the doghouse, literally. Meanwhile, Kelly is auditioning for a role, but faces stiff competition from her nemesis Heather Talrico, another blonde bimbo. Kelly challenges Heather to a boxing match; the loser has to give up the role.

Al makes true of his threat to move out. But what about custody of the two TVs? The kids Al leaves to Peg. In foresight, he has hidden a nest egg in a secret compartment in the toilet seat. Peg becomes depressed, but the kids decide to find themselves a new step-dad. Marcy is ecstatic about Al's departure and has another plan to cheer Peg up. Meanwhile, Al is trying out the bachelor lifestyle, complete with a new look.

Al is having difficulty adjusting to being single. Marcy is more than happy to share with him that Peg is having a dinner party with a millionaire. Al doesn't believe it, so Marcy tells him that what Peg really wants is for Al to come to the dinner party.

Peggy, jealous that Al is spending all his time at The Jiggly Room, decides to try out on amateur night while Al and the No Ma'am boys judge it. She wins the competition dressed as a harem girl named Jasmin, wearing a veil over her face. Al is turned on like never before, and he and Peggy have their best sex ever.

When Kelly becomes successful on a kid's television show, she becomes a total bitch and control freak. Her manager, Bud, decides Princess Kelly should be taught a lesson she will not forget. Meanwhile, Al tries to avoid sharing a bed with Peg by sawing off half of their bed as she is tempted to have sex with him in bed.

Al makes Peg stop her constant shopping by taking his card away from her and electrifying the phone so that she cannot place any orders. Meanwhile, it's Jefferson's 40th birthday and he has to accept he is no longer a young man and Marcy may one day leave him; so, Marcy forces him to get a job, which he does, as the new aerobics instructor at a new health club Peggy wins a free membership pass for. Elsewhere, Gary hires Bud and Kelly to shoot a TV commercial for the shoe store. There is a role for a shoe salesman. Al forces Bud to hire him, but Al has no acting experience.

Marcy wants the Bundys to stay indoors because her "identical" cousin Mandy is coming for a visit and Marcy does not want her to be repulsed by them. Mandy's flight, however, is early and she takes a cab. Since the D'Arcys are at the airport waiting for her, she comes to the Bundys. This leads to Mandy spending the day out with Al and Jefferson. Suddenly Peg and Marcy find themselves jealous.

Al sells his soul to the Devil so he can play for the Bears. However, the Devil takes him to Hell the day of the Super Bowl with a fate worse than death planned: an eternity with the family and the D'Arcys.

Al is kicking Peg and the kids out of the house so he can watch Death Wish 6 3-D in privacy on pay per view. But Bud also needs the house for himself: his pen pal, Starla, is getting out of prison and is coming to see him. Unfortunately, Starla decides to rob the Bundy's at gunpoint. It turns out that she has escaped and is on the run, so she ends up holding the Bundy's hostage. Starla also has a dim-witted boyfriend, to whom Kelly becomes attracted to, and the feeling is mutual. Then the D'Arcy's, who are about to leave on a charity masquerade cruise, barge in and end up hostages as well.

Lonnie is freed from prison because it was overcrowded. He asks Al's blessing for marrying Kelly. He even has a ring. Turns out that Lonnie is one of the Tots who owns Tot Industries, makers of Weenie Tots. Suddenly, Lonnie is most welcome to the Bundy family.

Gary is restocking the shoe store and donating all the old shoes to Filipino orphans. When the lunch delivery girl accepts old sandals as payment because Al and Griff have no money, they realize that the shoes have trading value. Meanwhile, Kelly finally gets her masseuse license, but accidentally cripples Bud when trying out her skills on him.