After Mary unexpectedly un-invites her family to watch her play basketball at an important game, the Camdens begin to make other plans for themselves. Lucy is angry with Mary because she invited Ashley--a popular girl in Lucy's school, to her game. Simon, Ruthie, and Happy get lost in town while pretending to be spies and following their mailman all over town. Lucy was supposed to to be babysitting them, but was instead entertaining herself and Ashley by talking on the phone with her boyfriend Jimmy Moon. Eric is faced with counseling a young boy who is once again back on his drug habit that is affecting his family.

Happy is about to have puppies, and Simon takes his 'paternal' role extremely seriously, scolding his heartlessly irresponsible elders who don't even bother to volunteer relevant information. equally well-meaning Matt is suckered into lies at home and even to ditch school to help lush crone Bing, who claims she dares not invoke professional help fearing to be dragged to a home. Handiman Steve Cunningham, who lost job and home due to the economic slump, refuses help even for his family, but accepts to help out Bing. Jimmy Moon prepared a birthday surprise for Lucy, helped by his friend Dwight Jefferson, but she turns down everything when denied hosting a party.

Eric and Annie selfishly expect the kids to start the school year on routine so they can enjoy a lazy day alone together, but ill-prepared means in trouble. Nazi-style principal Russell has plenty of collaborating staff to enforce draconian discipline for 'gang and drug offenses' according to absurd new rules none saw coming, such as Simon's cutlery earning a suspension for 'concealed weapons'. Only Mary is happy with an ex-Olympic new basketball coach Koper, who meanwhile terrorizes Matt because of the beeper his father forgot when he borrowed Matt's jacket. Simon's buddy system only helps against a potential bully. Lucy makes her own life hell while Mary rudely fails to work in new guy Marcus, a natural flirt. The whole school buzzes about Lucy's classmate Peter McKinley's apparent suicide attempt. In fact Eric, called in by the police, discovers it's a desperate cry for help after 13 years of deaf tyranny from his insensitive, clueless single mother.

Because Mary is desperate for a date with Matt's classmate Brian, who isn't interested in her, Matt pays him $20 to take her out for pizza. They have a good time--until Mary finds out about the plan. Meanwhile, Simon uses his own coaching method to teach Ruthie swimming in the bathtub to save her from embarrassing baby-class swimming lessons; and Eric finds that he can't fit into his jeans anymore, but when jogging only makes him hungry, he pays Matt to sneak in junk food.