Matt is as surprised about the sudden stream of calls from girls as his sisters about the cause, a dating ad in the school paper he knew nothing about, yet the editor refuses to retract it. Simon and Ruthie try out a pet products credit-card sent on dog Happy's name. Eric abuses a health crisis of tax official Smith, who is near retirement, to make him rectify an erroneous tax debt transfer.

Even bright teacher's pet Simon is terrified by new bully science teacher Hunter to the point of faking illness to avoid a private meeting with her about his solar system model, which actually is part of a superb presentation. Softie Matt already turned down dates to the party after Mary's return to the basketball team, yet she complains to everyone, even hunky jock ex Richard, who ends up making her day.

After Simon's school project volcano is carelessly ruined by brainless Ruthie, it's time for him to move to his own room. He's less happy with the isolated attic he's supposed to go to, but Matt agrees to move there and hand over his room, eager to 'move' to an out of state college anyway. Wilson calls Mary, but only to babysit Billy while he takes his date to her prom. Despite home advice, Mary performs miserably, yet Wilson returns early, having decided he only wants a girl who tells he family about Billy. Lucy desperately recruits enough big sibling support to get permission to go eat in town with two 'cool' sisters. Being driven in their car is forbidden, which turns out to be a life-saver, alas literally, leaving a guilt problem.